Think of some of the best cover versions of songs in history: Johnny Cash’s version of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” Jimi Hendrix’s re-do of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower” or Whitney Houston’s dynamic cover of Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You.”
What makes all of these cover versions so great? Ignoring the fact that they’re all done by some of the greatest artists of all time, what makes them great is the way they all burned the structure of the original song to the ground, allowing something new to rise from the ashes.
Weezer doesn’t do that on their newest self-titled record, which also goes by the name “The Teal Album.” The record was released by surprise last week and is made up exclusively of covers of pop songs from yesteryear (and a Black Sabbath cover).
The record comes after their cover of Toto’s 1982 song “Africa” which came out last year and was inexplicably successful. I say “inexplicable” because this cover is demonstrably soulless.
Toto’s original, while admittedly dated, is dynamic and catchy, capturing the “newness” of synth music in the early 1980s. It’s corny as all hell, but it’s catchy and triumphant and, above everything else, fun.
Weezer’s cover, though, can only be described as flat. Rivers Cuomo’s vocals are muted and buried in the mix, while the production on nearly every other instrument is simply muddy. Weezer’s cover blurs into something bordering on unpalatable, stripping away everything that made the original great.
But after the totally undeserved success of this song, it stands to reason it was the impetus for the album. While the record starts with the bland cover of “Africa,” the covers album quickly moves away from “terrible” to “kind of okay.”
After “Africa,” Weezer seems intent on making the covers sound as close to the original as possible.
Take their cover of the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This).” Virtually the only difference between this version and the original is that Rivers Cuomo has been subbed in for Annie Lennox. That’s it. It’s nothing like what Marilyn Manson did when he tackled this song and turned it into something truly chilling.
No. This album is just Rivers Cuomo doing karaoke.
Really hardcore fans of Weezer might find “The Teal Album” interesting, but for anyone else, the record does nothing to justify listening to these covers over the originals.
Now, this isn’t to say that there isn’t some enjoyment to be had from “The Teal Album.” I actually had a fair amount of fun listening to some of the covers, especially their renditions of The Turtles’ “Happy Together” and Electric Light Orchestra’s “Mr. Blue Sky.” I’ll admit there was something pretty funny about hearing Cuomo sing TLC’s “No Scrubs,” and undoubtedly the best cover is their version of Ben E. King’s classic “Stand By Me” — which has seemingly been covered by every artist ever.
But it can’t be denied that the fun of these covers comes exclusively from the strength of the original songs. Weezer adds virtually nothing to them, making the whole album feel like a karaoke night at a bar where all of the singers are slightly above average. It might sound good, but it’s still karaoke.
And the fact that this album, Weezer’s twelfth, is now their fifth self-titled album seems to suggest that we’re supposed to take it as seriously as any of their other records, especially the self-titled ones.
Weezer was once a great band, releasing classics like “The Blue Album,” “The Green Album” and “Pinkerton,” and their stunning return to form on their “White Album.” But “The Teal Album” cannot and should not be taken as seriously as any of these other records. It sounds more like the dying gasps of a band clambering for any amount of relevance they can still get.
To make matters worse, in two months, we’ll have Weezer’s sixth self-titled album — “The Black Album” — and we’ll just have to do this all again.
