Advice from Melissa: Boyfriend’s ‘demons’ are tearing apart our relationship
My boyfriend has a lot of “demons.” I love him very much, but I feel like his addictions are tearing us apart. I don’t want to leave him but it feels like he is dragging me down with him. What do I do?
Consider this your life preserver. You do not have to be with him to love him. You can only help a person as much as they will allow you to help them, and if you start feeling like they are dragging you down with them, you have to take a stand for yourself. We often find ourselves in a care taker role instead of a girlfriend role. Relationships are supposed to be made of equals. If you find yourself constantly stressing over him and his many needs, then you likely are not having your needs met in return. Your bucket is going to run dry, and, eventually, you may find yourself resentful of him. It is not selfish to step away from the bad situation. You can still be in his life and be there for him, but you cannot continue to let his path lead to your ruin. No one else is going to stand up for you if you don’t stand up for yourself.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.