Girl Talk: Dating an independent woman has both its risks and its rewards
To be independent is to be free of outside control. It means not living under someone else’s authority or relying on outside sources for the support of your own livelihood. You are self-sufficient and proudly stand alone on your own two feet. Relationships can sometimes make this method of living a little complicated. A relationship by definition is the way in which two people are connected and rely on each other. So how do you date an independent woman?
It is no secret that I have lived my life to the beat of my own drum. Dating hasn’t always been the easiest concept for me to grasp. (Yet I have written a dating column for the past 5 years; go figure.) Many of my past relationships have failed because of my self-inflicted life complications. To be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am a proud, independent woman and this is what I have learned about dating.
I keep busy and that is a trademark of the majority of independent women; we are on the go so often that you’d consider yourself lucky to land a minute of our time. If an independent woman fits you into her schedule, you must really be something special. You will not find your girl sitting by the phone waiting for you to call. An independent girl is confident and comfortable enough to continue living her own life outside of the relationship.
Most independent women I know are excessively ambitious and live their lives shooting for the moon. Who is this girl? She is career or goal-focused and self-aware of what she needs to do to get where she needs to be. She is going to be financially independent because she has become accustomed to supporting herself. If you find yourself dating her, she won’t be looking for a guy who is going to pay all of her bills and spoil her. Instead, she is going to want someone who supports her dreams and ambitions. She wants an emotional sugar-daddy as opposed to a financial one. She is not a princess who needs saving, but feel free to still try sweeping her off her feet from time to time.
As an independent woman, I have learned the most important part of finding a partner is to be with someone who brings balance to your life. Date someone who is your equal in terms of ambition. There are few things as frustrating as getting attached to someone who doesn’t want anything more out of life. An independent woman is always going to be pushing forward and is best matched with someone who can be there alongside of her journey being supportive, yet still keeping her in check with reality. She is hard working and will continue to push. If not matched with the right person, this quality can sometimes be exhausting. She is always going to try to be her best self and will likely push you to do the same.
When it comes to dating, this girl doesn’t have time for drama or games. There is just no time for that. Life is busy enough without trying to make things complicated. Independent women are normally “straight-shooters” and will often just speak their minds (it’s a blessing and a curse). We are unapologetically unfiltered. We can be challenging and frustrating. Me personally, I am stubborn and opinionated. I will say how I feel when I feel it.
So dating an independent woman has both its risks and rewards. If you are lucky enough to find yourself swimming in the dating pool with one of us, get ready for one hell of a splash. We live in the land of the free, home of the brave — and we date that way too.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live and WBRE.