Advice from Melissa: My boyfriend made inappropriate jokes about my friend
My boyfriend is an important part of my circle of friends. We all get along great and go out together and everything has been great. Recently, he made a sexual joke about my best girlfriend and it really made me upset. He says to relax because he was just kidding, but now I am paranoid about him thinking about her sexually and its giving me reservations about hanging out with them as a group. Am I wrong to be upset?
Outside the circle
While it may have been a harmless joke in his eyes, the fact that it upset you should still matter to him. It is inappropriate for him to make sexual jokes about any other woman, but the fact that it is your best friend certainly makes it hit closer to home. I can understand your hesitance about having them together, but you need to understand that while it was inappropriate, he is with you and not her.
You can’t stop living your life out of fear that he may have feelings for your friend. He likely doesn’t. While it was a dumb joke and the absolute wrong thing to say, you are probably putting more weight on it than it deserves. Tell him it bothered you. If he doesn’t understand why, try telling him that you noticed his best friend has a great looking ass and see how he feels about it.
Did it make him jealous or hurt? Often we have a hard time relating to the feelings of someone else until we are in the situation ourselves. While I don’t recommend playing games and further complicating the situation, it may help him see how you felt when he made that comment.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.