Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
When I was a kid, I was entranced by the ads in the backs of comic books I read. Of course I wanted x-ray glasses, a hovercraft, a frog with transparent skin, and a tank full of sea monkeys who would make funny faces and perform tricks. I never ordered any of these, which means I never had to face the disappointment of shattered expectations. This week, you might be exactly as disappointed as a kid who doesn’t get the magical make-believe thing you thought was real. I’m sorry. The question is: can you be as resilient as a child, and go on believing that the real thing’s out there, you just haven’t found it yet?
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Hedonism is a valid life path. I heartily condone the steadfast pursuit of pleasure as your highest priority. Problems only arise when your definition of pleasure is too shallow, unimaginative, or petty, or relies on others’ unhappiness. You’re not guilty of that, are you? Pursue pleasure. That’s part of who you are. But please opt and aim for pleasures of the deepest and most richly positive variety, ones that not only make your life more vivid, intense, and rewarding, but others’ lives as well. Blaze us a trail through hedonism to enlightenment, Libra. We’ll follow.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Your fantasies are dangerous. Having such a compelling and engaging imagination is both blessing and curse (often both at the same time). Many of us envy your inner world, and lots of people vie to be part of it. You’re lucky enough to be able to dive into them whenever you wish. That, of course, is a double-edged sword. Pisceans may wallow in drugs as escape from reality. Virgos use work. All you need is your imagination and your ability to manifest it in the real world. That’s dangerous. This week, run with your imagination, of course, but double-check that you’ve got the reins firmly in hand.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Beware of too much of a good thing. It might be a good idea to limit your access to some of the best things in life this week, in order to prevent a major overdose that could leave you more or less allergic to them for months to come. Who doesn’t love ice cream, or a nice cold beer, or hot fudge? Drowning in any of those things, however, would be a particularly unpleasant death. I doubt the good things in your life will kill you this week, but they might kill your taste for them, if you’re not careful.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You look down scornfully upon people who are as changeable as the weather. However, you’re like the climate that never changes. If you were weather you’d be rain that goes on for days, without pause, or snow that buries houses, or sun that scorches everything, relentlessly brutal, without a cloud in sight. Do you see where I’m going with this? Being reliable is one thing; being rigid, another. Are people drowning in or being scorched by your “reliability?” Bend, already. Let it rain, snow, or shine — whatever it hasn’t been doing lately.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
I tend to regard Aquarians as mostly pragmatic and levelheaded. Then they’ll shock me by uttering phrases like, “It wasn’t meant to be.” Do you really believe in destiny? Has free will been thrown by the wayside, in favor of God or the universe or someone else determining what will or won’t happen to you? I desperately hope not. While I agree there often seem to be signs pointing us in one direction over another, I would emphatically argue that it’s our decisions that carry the most weight. Don’t forget that. I’m worried you’re about to.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. In truth I envy your ability to sleep and sleep. But I also worry. Aren’t you wasting time? Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that you should get even one minute less shut-eye. I’m just reminding you that one of your great strengths is dreaming. Are you using it? Do you remember your dreams? Are you getting enough out of them? Sleeping’s not just for the body, you know. Your mind and soul need rejuvenation, too. Can you carry at least some of the ideas, inspiration, and hilarity of your dream world into your waking life? This week, please try.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Beautiful is ephemeral and fleeting. However, there are also many different incarnations of it. As the bloom of your youth fades, don’t spend too much time mourning it. There’s a cycle here, and an opportunity to create new kinds of beauty, ones that stretch your conception of the word and challenge others to do the same. Each iteration of beauty could be more lovely and complex than the one before — that is, if you don’t spend too much time lamenting the loss of whatever you had before, instead of using the imagination required to bring you and yours into bloom, again, and again, and again.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Superficially, at least, you’re not scared of much. That stone-faced exterior has earned you the trust of so many friends, who view you as their rock, their steady, reliable, unshakable friend. That’s also lead to one unfortunate side effect: you’re hesitant or unable to share the few things you are afraid of. Your friends are lucky; they know what a relief it is to share their anxieties with someone else. You’re stuck carrying yours all by your lonesome. That can’t and shouldn’t continue. Don’t be embarrassed to admit your fears, even if they sound pathetic when said out loud. Most fears do—that’s part of the beauty of sharing them. Out loud your worries are puny. Inside they can (and will) reach monstrous proportions. Don’t let that happen.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
There are no sweet talkers in the zodiac to compare with you, Gemini. Sure, Scorpios can whisper poisonous truths that make people crazy, and there’s nothing quite like the sharp tongue of an angry Aries, but your silver tongue had power to match theirs and more. Your speech is prehensile, like the long, skinny tail of a monkey. It can slide under metaphorical doors and unlatch them from the inside. That, in fact, is exactly what you ought to use it for this week. Nothing’s impossible, given the right words. Remember that. Also remember that if anyone can find and use them correctly, it’s you.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Some Cancers do this thing when they’re having a good time: they anticipate its end. While I appreciate that you’ve learned the lesson that everything changes, I’m afraid you took the wrong thing out of it. Sure, things can’t stay great (or terrible, for that matter) forever. However, that transience is a reason to maximize your enjoyment of a beautiful moment, rather than tense up in anticipation of its conclusion (which can often hasten it, by the way). Take a deep breath. Shake out your bad habits regarding pleasure and good luck. Now, this week and the rest, do your best to enjoy them — all the more so because they’ll eventually end.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Give something back. Leos are frequently lavishly generous, but I’m afraid you can have the habit, when you’re not paying attention, of being unthinkingly selfish, or failing to notice exactly how much someone else does for you, or you take for granted. This week, exercise your famous generosity by giving something meaningful back. This means something more than buying them a book or taking them out to dinner — though there’s nothing wrong with those things as well. However, it’s time you really put some thought and effort and time into whatever you decide to give. Everyone knows how much you already value those. This week, please share them.
