By Caeriel Crestin - For Weekender

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you this week?

Print This Page
Pixabay file image

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

The next two weeks are a brilliant time to try to bring some project, idea, or personal goal to fruition and fulfillment. Can you possibly swing the timing? I know it’s short notice, but I think it’s still possible to get your shit together, if you try. See that mile marker up ahead? The one you’ve been headed towards for a while now? Accelerate. Pedal to the metal, baby. See if you can reach it before the next big fat round full moon. If you succeed, the light it sheds is likely to make the route beyond that intermediary goal incredibly, excitingly clear.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

What would you tell someone whose plan to lose weight involves eliminating cheesecake, and nothing else? Hopefully, you’d mention that they’re sadly deluding themselves. Darling, that’s what I’m here to do for you. Your goal may have nothing to do with losing weight; nevertheless your approach is about as realistic as the No Cheesecake Diet. It’s sad that you’re entertaining such preposterous illusions; you’re usually so accomplished and down-to-earth. Where’s your hard-nosed realism now? You need a dose of it. Wake up and figure out what you really need to do, to get the job done. Otherwise, you’re just missing out on delicious cheesecake for no reason.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Stop biting your tongue. If you’ve got an opinion, by all means share it. Your famous open-mindedness often translates into blandness, because you rarely appear to have strong feelings in any particular direction. Now, I know that’s not true. Although you rock at seeing both sides of any equation, there are times when you are solidly on one side of the fence or the other, instead of straddling it. Speak up, baby, and now. The folks you want to impress are so bored by wallflowers and flip-floppers that they might not give you a second chance.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I’m mostly annoyed by that cliché about new doors opening when old ones get slammed in your face. That old saw’s stuck around so long, however, because there’s truth in it. That relationship or opportunity that slipped through your fingers was not perfect for you, even though you probably thought it was. There are a million new possibilities before you, even though they might not be immediately visible. Part of the problem is you’re not exactly looking for them. Even right in front of your nose, you might not see them, because you’re blinded by disappointment. You don’t have to get over that disappointment, not yet. But can you at least try to look past it?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue. When your friend hooks up with someone you dislike (or despise), watch how you express your disapproval. That can quickly spiral downwards into a lose-lose situation, if you’re not careful. On the one hand, you wouldn’t be a good friend if you didn’t put in your honest two cents. On the other, don’t you dare put in three. It’s your job to stop them from making any huge mistakes, even if it means risking your friendship. But letting your buddy make a bunch of smaller mistakes, and learn a lesson the hard way (which sticks) might ultimately be the kindest thing you can do.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You Caps can be a little bit clueless about certain social situations. Sometimes you’re not aware that you’ve crossed a line until long after you stepped over it, and been slapped for doing so. To you, some of those lines are just plain invisible. There are ways around these limitations, though. Heck, even some autistic people, who have trouble interpreting ambiguous social cues (like facial expressions, for instance) find ways to navigate the world nevertheless. This week, you ought to be especially good at recognizing your own blind spots. Luckily, you’ll be even better at inventing ways to work around them.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Screw multitasking. Sometimes you rock at it, sometimes you don’t. Right now … not so much. You’re so busy thinking about all the shit you have to do that you only devote half your attention to the task currently at hand. In other words, your performance sucks, at least compared to how fantastic it would be if you devoted yourself to it completely. The key: don’t allow yourself to be distracted by all those other things you’ll need to get to, eventually, nor by the many pure diversions that could derail you completely if you’re not careful. Be single-minded. Focus. Do one thing at a time, and nothing else. Not only will you finish it, and well, but also in record time — freeing you to move on to the second thing (but don’t even think about the third until that one’s done, please).

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

One thing I like about you Fish is that you don’t usually have contempt for people who are simple, even though you yourself are eminently complex. In fact, sometimes I think you envy anyone who can be single-minded about anything, because that’s something you’re not generally good at. There are times, however, when you might be able to put on blinders and devote most, if not all, of your attention and energy towards a single goal. This week is one of those rare, lucky occasions. Pick an ambitious target, block out everything else, and go for it.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Rain hangs heavy overhead. Poke a hole in the clouds and they’d explode, drenching all of us. You shouldn’t stay inside, though. The threat of downpour is worse than the reality. What’s holding you back is this illusion that if you don’t shake things up, the rain might not fall, or it might float on to fall on some other place, someone else’s life. Forget that. Expect to get wet. Know that you’ll be drenched to the bone, and shivering. You’ll also get to where you want to go, which ultimately outweighs all other considerations. Here’s your choice: stay inside, dry, and go nowhere, or endure a little misery and discomfort, but reach your destination. Come on. It’s a no-brainer.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Bodies have their own equilibrium. Studies show that it’s extremely hard to change the point at which your body is comfortable, when it comes to weight. It takes profound discipline and a lot more time than most people are willing to give it, to truly change the shape of your body. A lot of things take more time than you’d expect, and unless you really commit to them, for the long haul, you’ll never get anything but ongoing disappointment out of them. If you’re going to do something half-assed, you might as well spare yourself the trouble and not bother at all.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Don’t be shortsighted. I know part of this is actually a good thing, a desire to be present. But sometimes you fail to look far enough ahead to accurately gauge how you’ll feel a month from now, a year, a decade. Of course, knowing the future is impossible, but you could stand to do a bit more guessing about it. For example: Is the person you’re with someone you’ll still like in a year, or ten, or fifty? How’s your job (or the prospects it enables) going to suit you in a decade? It’s time for some projections. Send your imagination into the future and see what you can see. Then, when it gets back, it’s time to act on what you saw there.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

The worst thing that could happen right now is if you accepted your necessarily narrow and limited view of reality as the big picture. In that scenario, you’d probably feel that you had few or no choices, instead of recalling that the world is in fact rife with possibility. There are so many things you could do, so many different facets of life you could access. You might simply have to practice first remembering that they exist, then open yourself to them. This week, please make that your number one goal and pursue it diligently and relentlessly.

Gemini Pixabay file image

By Caeriel Crestin

For Weekender

To contact Caeriel, send mail to [email protected]

To contact Caeriel, send mail to [email protected]