By Caeriel Crestin - For Weekender

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you this week?

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Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Choose your battles more carefully. Sometimes, you get carried away, simply because you know you’re right. This, however, isn’t about right or wrong. It’s not worth arguing about for so many reasons: Perhaps the person you’re complaining to doesn’t actually have the power to change anything, or it might simply be too complicated. Your head’s already dented enough, from slamming into brick walls. Spare yourself further injury by carefully assessing the obstacles before you. Some are squishy and malleable, and some are as immovable and solid as mountains. Learn to recognize which is which, already, would you?

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

I’m a realist, especially about love affairs. I’m both incredibly romantic and phenomenally cynical. I advised a friend of mine, who’s dating a beautiful 18-year-old French model, to enjoy every minute of it, precisely because it won’t last forever. He was adamant in his naïve faith that they’d die together, of old age, in a hundred years. “Come on,” I scolded him. “How many teen models stay with their first boyfriends for the rest of their lives?” I think it’s better to recognize the ephemeral nature of all things—especially things like love affairs with teen beauties—so as to better enjoy them, rather than deny that they’ll ever change or go away, and possibly take them for granted until they do. Don’t you?

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Telling someone you’re in love with them will change everything between you two, forever—sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Librans are notoriously susceptible to illusions regarding this very subject, both in how they imagine people might react to such a declaration, and how things could be afterwards in either case. I don’t mean to make mountains out of molehills. Maybe this ought to be a molehill. Unfortunately, it’s simply not. It’s a mountain. Make sure you’re ready for such a radical change in your internal landscape before you invite Mount Everest in to stay.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In all my travels, I’ve learned to cherish being lost the most. Even when it’s stressful, because I hoped to be somewhere at a certain time, I’ve found, from experience, that these are the moments that will become stories and treasured memories later, and lead to discoveries I never would have made otherwise, both in life and about myself. This applies to emotional journeys as well as physical ones. Remember this the next time you’re lost and late: It’s actually the best thing that could have happened to you, far cooler than just arriving at your destination, uneventfully and on time.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You’ve got an opinion about everything. Luckily, you’re also usually quite flexible and open-minded. You’ll admit you’re wrong, if someone makes a good case for the opposing viewpoint. You do, however, have a couple blind spots, born out of social programming you absorbed when you were just a little kid, mostly about relationships. In those cases, it hardly matters how well someone presents another viewpoint; you just refuse to see it. This time, though, an eighteen-wheeler looms in that blind spot. Either you acknowledge it and at least make some effort to accommodate it, or it’s going to send you crashing into a tree, and you’ll be in emotional traction for a year. Adjust your mirrors. It’s easier to fix a dented dream than recover from a full-on crash-and-burn.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Some people are content to just toss some food into the microwave, then eat it when it’s hot. Others, though, want to know how it got hot, how the thing works. They take apart televisions, computers, cars, and—emotionally, at least—people. They want to know what makes you and everything else tick. Whether or not you’re one of these curious kittens, I suggest you borrow a bit of their inquisitiveness this week, because some fascinating stuff lurks just beneath the surface of things. It would explain a lot about why your life is the way it is, and why your relationships are the way they are. Don’t dismantle anything you can’t put back together, but at least open the lid and peep inside.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Of course I’m addicted to the Internet. It’s the closest thing to the sum total of human knowledge that has ever existed, and I love having all that information no more than a Google search away. It has made my brain a bit lazy, in some ways, though. I’ve never been much of a retainer of trivia, but recalling random facts is mostly beyond me now. Instead, I remember how to find that information; which websites to begin with, and how to extract that particular nugget from the vastness that is the Web. I’ve accepted my cyborg-hood. When will you acknowledge, admit to, and own the crutches you’re using—both good and bad—to make you more than you are?

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Expose yourself to stuff. The city mouse is more wily and resourceful than the country mouse not because they’re gifted with superior genetics, but simply because they’ve encountered a greater variety of challenging situations that have forced them to become more than they were. Leading a sheltered little country mouse life may appeal to you sensitive Pisceans, but it’s poor preparation for the future. Life intrudes, even in the country. Wouldn’t you rather be exposed to its dangers on your own terms, by your own choice? It’s certainly better than waiting until they simply barge in, unannounced, and force you to deal.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Start hollering and waving your arms, Aries. Jump up and down. Make sure everyone knows where you are. People are looking for you, but you’ve maintained such a low profile lately that they can’t find you. Emerge from your little bubble of familiar people and situations. I’m glad you’ve outgrown your need to always stand out from the crowd, but I hope you haven’t forgotten how. Make a spectacle of yourself this week, so that those who need someone like you in their lives can figure that out, and ask you to join them.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

I’d bet that far fewer than 1 in 12 early adopters of smartphones, back in the day, were Taureans. You lot are generally more cautious about your acquisitions, and rather than waiting in line to be the first person you know to have the nifty gadget, most of you would prefer to wait to see how much of an issue fingerprints are, or how else the thing might fail to live up to its hype, before you shell out your own hard-earned cash for it. Let other people be the guinea pigs, you figure. Fine. Sometimes, though, you have no choice but to try something out for yourself. The smartphone is not one of them, but the relationship before you is. You can’t accept others’ reviews, this time. You have to write your own hype, then live up to it.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

The reason alternative medicine is so popular these days is only partially because it’s surprisingly helpful, in many cases. It’s also more fun than waiting for your HMO to screw you, and it’s more affordable in any case. The mainstream health care industry is totally screwed up. There are ways and there are ways, whether you’re trying to heal your body or your heart (or someone else’s body or heart). Don’t just stick to the most obvious solution (especially since it can’t or won’t work). Experiment with alternatives. Good ones, preferably. They’re out there. All you have to do is look.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

This weekend could be your most important one this year, or it could pass entirely unremarked. It will be precisely what you make of it, like any other weekend, but right now there are unique opportunities to inaugurate new chapters or finally put into action carefully-considered decisions. Will you take advantage of them? Please don’t complain that you’re not ready. Get ready. This is your kick in the ass. How long were you planning to wait before you got your shit together, after all? Step up and do it now. Or wait another year (and probably three more, besides). It’s up to you.

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By Caeriel Crestin

For Weekender

To contact Caeriel, send mail to [email protected]

To contact Caeriel, send mail to [email protected]