By Caeriel Crestin - For Weekender

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

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Pixabay image
Pixabay image
Pixabay image


(May 21-June 20)

Cold turkey is the only way. If you’re planning on cutting something out of your life — be it smoking or an unhealthy relationship or ice cream — forget doing it gradually. That’s crap, especially for someone as generally indecisive as you. It’ll quite simply never work. Trust me on this. Either you want the thing in your life or you don’t. If you can’t make the decision to eliminate it 100 percent, you won’t be able to cut it down 10 percent, so why bother trying? You’ll just piss people off for no reason. So that’s the deal. It’s all or nothing on this one — no in-betweens. Which, my dear, would you prefer?


(June 21-July 22)

This week I encourage Geminis to embrace extremes when making edits from their lives. Cutting something or someone cleanly out is the only way. Similarly, I’d like to encourage you to be that full-on, especially next week, when the Scorpio Full Moon rolls around. Only instead of cutting something or someone out of the picture, I’d like you to add someone or something in, and in a way that’s totally risky and exciting. Jump exuberantly into water over your head. It’s not the only way, but it’s the way best suited to “success” (whatever that means for that particular situation). It’s also, fortunately, the path involving the most fun!


(July 23-Aug. 22)

Something Leos struggle with is the idea that you are social creatures, yet you’re not always excellent team players (even if you often are). You like being surrounded by people, as long as you have some status. Being the low person on the totem pole just doesn’t suit you. Sometimes even equal status can gall you. For example, Leos always make excellent hosts but sometimes have trouble being just plain roommates. Where am I going with this? I’m trying to encourage you to do what you’ve got to do to achieve some status in the social situations you’re in this week. It’s for the happiness and well-being of all concerned. Better a sweet, generous, benevolent tyrant than a surly serf.


(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Believe it or not, the world is conspiring in some very subtle ways to curb you Virgos. The problem is, it’s so easy. All anyone has to do to prevent you from getting anywhere is to keep you busy with stuff that really doesn’t matter. Somehow, most of you can’t tell the difference; as long as you’re actively getting something done, you’re usually pretty happy, even if your accomplishments don’t ultimately get you any closer to your real goals. I’ve seen Virgos waste years of their lives helping other people realize their dreams while doing virtually nothing to further their own. Is that happening to you? Be honest with yourself. Then be honest about what’s best and make the changes that’ll ensure that at least 51 percent of your best time and energy is devoted to what you want and need and dream about.


(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Librans love comfort and adore popularity. Unfortunately, this week may force you to choose between the two. I don’t envy the kind of little choices you’ll have to face over the next chapter, constantly evaluating what you’ll sacrifice and what you’ll get for whatever you give up. It’s a tricky situation for anyone, but eventually it boils down to this: do you want your life to be easy and comfortable, if a bit lonely? Or would you rather suffer and strive, just to be surrounded by people who respect you (but may or may not actually like you)?


(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Whenever I’m down and out, I like to see myself as a character in a movie or a novel, just as they’re struggling through the hardest part of the dramatic conflict. This hero figure may not win, but they’ll grow or learn something or occasionally triumph through persistence and unfailing hope. I choose to believe that simply having faith that things will turn around will always eventually yield positive results. It may or may not be true or work exactly like that. I just don’t know. But I can tell you what I do know, without a shadow of a doubt: if you believe that things will get worse, they definitely will.


(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This week I’m trying to teach Sagittarians an impossible lesson: how to be optimists. That’s something I’ve never had to school you on, exactly. Where you fall short, sometimes, is by not setting your hopes and aspirations high enough. Sure, higher hopes means occasionally devastating disappointments instead of simply mild ones. But I’m sick of you being just simply more mediocre than you ought to be. You’re supposed to (and able to) shine! Why don’t you get around to it? Start by making your dreams ambitious enough to truly be worthy of someone like you.


(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

People who’ve struggled through hard experiences usually come out the other side stronger and more resolved and determined than ever. That’s almost always the case with you Capricorns as well, but I have seen it happen that an unexpected defeat, failure, or mistake can throw you guys for a loop that takes months to come out of. Don’t let that happen next time around (especially by deluding yourself that there won’t be a next time, or that it won’t be horribly disappointing). This week, stretch — physically and spiritually. The goal is to start improving your elasticity and flexibility— the better to bounce back the next time life tosses you to the ground.


(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

What do you expect? Beat up your body and you’ll get sick. Stomp on a relationship and it’ll fall apart. Do a half-ass job and you’ll lose your job. You understand and believe in these concepts, right? So why do you sometimes have a hard time believing in their opposites? Eat well and sleep enough and you’ll be healthy. Nurture your relationship with respect and affection and it’ll be solid and dependable (if not always exactly what you want). Rock out at work and you’ll be rewarded. While not all of these things (positive or negative) are true all the time, most of them are true most of the time.


(Feb. 19-March 20)

Sometimes you want to be wrapped up safe, as snug as a babe in mama’s arms. Other times that very same treatment would have you feeling terrified and claustrophobic and ultimately running for the hills. Sometimes it feels as if there’s no pleasing you — even when you’re the one trying! This week may be one of those frustrating weeks where you don’t quite know what you want, or how to make yourself happy. Don’t freak out. Instead of trying to figure out what’ll work (a hopeless task, at the moment), concentrate on the present moment, whatever it is, and simply doing your best to enjoy that.


(March 21-April 19)

You’re a natural leader — until you burn out. Every Aries does break down at some point. You take on too much (or fail to refuse too many burdens), and you collapse under the pressure. What’s important is that you get back up and don’t become a shrinking violet as a result of your negative experience. The next time around, you learn from your mistakes: don’t put yourself in a position to bark out orders when you’re prone to laryngitis, for example. Bottom line is: first accept that you have limitations. Then gracefully accept those limitations. Then, and only then, try to — carefully and wisely — transcend them.


(April 20-May 20)

I’ve never met an especially gullible Taurus. It’s not that you’re overly suspicious, either. You just take your time deciding whether someone’s worthy of your trust. It’s that patience that will benefit you this week, as nothing will be especially clear, either way. I urge you not to reach any conclusions yet, although you ought to feel free to develop your ideas about the situation. Your chain may indeed be getting yanked. But this could also be for real. Only time will tell, and only if you give it time. Jump to conclusions now, and you may soon regret them.

Taurus Pixabay image

Gemini Pixabay image

Cancer Pixabay image

Leo Pixabay image

By Caeriel Crestin

For Weekender

To contact Caeriel, send mail to [email protected]

To contact Caeriel, send mail to [email protected]