Ask Phil: Nobody has time for ghosts

Dear Phil,

The guy I’ve been dating for a few months asked me out on Wednesday for a dinner date on Friday at 6 p.m. But at 4 p.m. on Friday he called and left a voicemail that he was very sorry but he would need to cancel our date tonight since some good friends of his came into town unexpectedly and he was going out with them.

He didn’t mention if they were males or females, and didn’t invite me to join them. I was very angry that he would blow me off for “a better offer” and not invite me. I would never have done this to HIM!

This is the second time he’s cancelled on me with a lame excuse.

I sent him a text saying, “Call me when you can fit me into your life.” I haven’t heard from him in three days. He’s probably mad at me.

Should I call and apologize for my snippy text?


Wants to be in a relationship

Dear Wants to be in a relationship,

Wow, well this is a major bummer. Nobody likes to play games when they’re in the dating world. It’s hard enough as it is without all of the mental games.

Look, first off, do not apologize. You are not in the wrong here. Not one bit. You are allowed to be hurt after getting canceled two hours before your date and not hearing from the guy. That’s completely normal.

While things certainly come up, this guy handled it in a terribly wrong way. Like you, I’d probably be upset that I wasn’t asked to tag along too. You’ve been seeing each other for a few months now, you should be an important enough presence in his life to meet some of his friends. It’s the natural progression in relationships.

Honestly, and this might not be the advice you’re looking for, but I think it’s time to move on. You can do better than Mr. Ghost.

Nobody deserves to be put through the mental ringer when trying to find love. We’ve all been through it before and it sucks. There’s no better way to put it.

The fact is, Mr. Ghost should have responded to you by now, if not Night 1. It’s not asking too much. He did blow you off after all.

Just remember this, I believe that at the end of the day we learn something from every relationship we’re in, good or bad.

It’s not often the first person you date is Mr. or Mrs. Right. It takes some trial and error. But every failed relationship means you’re one step closer to your person.

I hope this helps.



By Phil


Reach Phil at 570-991-6398 or send your life questions to askphil.tl@gmail.com