Weekender

Ask Phil: Don’t be the comma in Earth, Wind & Fire

Dear Phil,

My best friend and I have been thick as thieves — going as far back as elementary school.

Whenever one of us had an idea, usually a crazy one, the other was there.

Well, now my friend has the craziest of ideas. He wants to open a psychic detective agency!

I KNOW!

But he’s good at what he does. We’ve even solved a few cases for the police already.

Now he wants me to be his partner, but I don’t know if I should leave my reliable, steady job to join him.

What do I do?!

Oh, and did I mention that he’s not really a psychic? He just has a photographic memory and is extremely observant.

Please help!

— Ghee Buttersnaps

Hi Ghee Buttersnaps,

You’ve came to the right place.

While it definitely seems like you’re in a sticky situation, I think I can help you out.

The way you’ve phrased it, I’m going to take a stab and say that you’re the more-careful friend of the two of you while the “psychic” takes risks. Maybe he’s never held a job for more than six months since you guys graduated high school?

Sure, you’re the “gloomy you” — as the kids call it — of the friendship. But that’s completely Okay.

I have to admit, though, this sounds like a pretty fun opportunity. And you said that your friend is pretty good, right?

What if you have an opportunity to discover some dinosaur fossils? Or you get to go undercover in a sorority or roller derby team?

I know these sound like some pretty random, but specific examples, but just imagine how cool life would be if you could do all of these things.

I’m sorry, I’m not sure I’m helping anymore. I stopped building my pros and cons list once you wrote the word “psychic.” That sold me.

I understand that you have a reliable and steady job already — maybe something like a pharmaceutical sales rep — but are you sure you have to ditch your day job for what could be considered a hobby? We all have hobbies.

I mean, if you meet your quota and nobody misses out on their products, things should be OK, right?

Of course you’d have to check this off with your boss. And if he’s not convinced you can pull off both your day job and your “hobby” with your friend, maybe, sell him on the fact that this could be good for business.

If you guys continue to help out the local police department and solve more crimes, your name might appear in the newspaper and on the news rather frequently. That could be a huge boost for business. People already associate you with your day job, so the more often you appear in the news, the better.

Not to mention, if pharmaceutical sales is what you do for a living, I imagine you’ll run into a handful of CSI workers. I’m sure they’d love to hear your pitch.

Maybe you even have the opportunity to woo some possible clients while you’re out solving crimes. That sounds like a win-win to me.

But I have one favor to ask you if you do pursue this, Scrooge Jones. I mean, Ghee Buttersnaps. Please name your detective agency Psych.

You know, because it’s short for psychic.

All the best,

Phil

Phil
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By Phil

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Reach Phil at 570-991-6398