Ask Phil: Ice, ice, baby

Dear Phil,

I’m in a situation.

I have a passive aggressive co-worker who is just the worst! She makes a point to meddle in everyone’s business — even when it has nothing to do with her! She plays both sides and is always the victim.

How do I change my mindset to make work enjoyable again?


Wants to Quit

Dear Wants to Quit,

I’m so sorry to hear about this unfortunate situation at work. Hopefully, I can help you out.

I think a lot of us can relate to you. Whether it’s work, a situation back in college or high school, or a collection of friends, I feel like a lot of us have been in your shoes at one point or another. And if we haven’t, we’re lucky and probably will at some point.

You have a couple of different ways you could go about this.

You could completely ignore this person while you’re at work and ice her out. Or, you could confront her about the problems.

They are two different paths that could end up with similar results.

Like you said, this person always finds a way to get involved in things. If you’re able to shut her out, it will make it hard for her to insert herself into your life.

This person is bringing you down, and nobody should be subjected to that type of environment. So if you can find a way to expose yourself to this person less and less, she will have less of an opportunity to meddle.

Now I’m sure this will be hard because she’s a co-worker, and I imagine you have to interact semi-often, but if you can keep your interactions completely work-related, it will be hard for her to encroach on your business. Even if there’s some work drama, don’t bring it anywhere near her.

You also said she does this to everyone, not just you, so this is going to take a collective group effort among you and your co-workers. It’s going to be tough, but if you guys can keep all of your conversations to work-related, drama-free topics as a whole, she’ll have a tough time trying to meddle.

However, if you don’t want to ice this co-worker out, you could take this head-on and confront your co-worker about this problem. Call her out on what she’s doing and that it’s negatively affecting the workplace. It’s going to be a tough conversation, but it could be beneficial at the end. It’s possible that this troublemaker has no idea the problems she’s causing and could change for the better.

Or, she knows exactly what she’s doing and doesn’t care. That’s when you have to exile her.

At the end of the day, don’t let someone else’s actions force you to quit, Wants to Quit. Don’t let one person’s negative energy affect everything you’ve worked so hard for.

Good luck,



By Phil


Reach Phil at 570-991-6398 or askphil.tl@gmail.com.