By Phil - [email protected]

Ask Phil: Having to do the hardest thing in your life

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Dear Phil,

Here’s the thing: I’m in love. It’s definitely love. We met at work a couple years ago, but it feels like we’ve been friends forever. We talk every day. We laugh every day — especially when we pull pranks on our weird co-worker. (Let’s call him Dwigt).

But there’s a problem — she’s engaged. She has been for three years, and there doesn’t appear to be a wedding in sight. I know she’s frustrated with her fiancé. I can’t help but feel like we’re meant to be together, but I feel trapped. She’s engaged!

Anyway, our office is going on a booze cruise along Lake Wallenpaupack on Friday. (I guarantee my boss does the “I’m the king of the world!” Titanic line within the first hour — but that’s neither here nor there). I think I might try and tell her my true feelings. Is this a good idea?




Thanks for reaching out! I’m always here to help out when it comes to love.

Well, to be fair Jim. James. Jimothy. Jimothy? To be fair, Jimothy. Nah, that sounds weird. Are you OK with being called Jim?

My best advice to you is this: If you like her so much, don’t give up. Engaged ain’t married.

Now look, I’m not suggesting you go and be a homewrecker. Never, ever, do that, but always be there.

I don’t know, but if you ask me — and you are — there’s definitely something wrong with the fact that they’ve been engaged for three years. Now, you can definitely tell her how you feel. There’s nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel. You certainly don’t want to live with regret.

However, if this fella decides to set the date with your friend on this booze cruise of yours this weekend, remember one thing and one thing only. It’s a booze cruise, which means they’re probably drunk. Nothing good comes from actions you make when you’re drunk. So make sure if you do tell her that you’re not drunk either.

But if you miss out on your opportunity, don’t give up. Just continue to be there. And keep being there.

Continue to pull pranks on this co-worker of yours. Put his stapler in Jell-O, his desk in the men’s bathroom or all of his office supplies in the vending machine.

And if things get too painful, maybe take a transfer to another branch if one opens up. I heard Stanford is nice.

You know what they say: I declare bankruptcy!

No, that’s not it. Sorry, that was for a different column that I’m working on to help this fella, Michael, out. He’s having some money problems.

Anyway, what I meant to say was that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Just because you transfer doesn’t mean you don’t come back or stop talking to this friend of yours. Heck, you guys can still pull pranks on that guy, Dwigt.

I have an idea. Send him a fax pretending to be from the future. You guys could really mess with him.

But my point is, just always be there. If it’s meant to be, one day something will click. It almost always does.

Right now, you have to do the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, which is just wait. For a really long time, it’s all you’ll have. You’ll just have these little moments with a girl who sees you as a friend. And a lot of people will tell you you’re crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who you work with, but I know deep down that even you know that you’re waiting for your wife.

Do me one favor, Jim. Just one.

Never, ever, ever give up.

Good luck,



By Phil

[email protected]

Reach Phil at 570-991-6398.

Reach Phil at 570-991-6398.