We’ve made it.
The penultimate prenuptial project.
The last time I will inhabit this space as a bride-to-be. Next time you hear from me, I’ll be a married woman, and that’s very weird to me.
It’s a bittersweet moment for me.
You would think I’d be comfortable with the idea of becoming married, given the time I’ve had to get used to it, and I am.
Something weird happens as you get closer to the actual date. I guess that’s why people get cold feet.
This is starting to sound like I’m not excited about getting married. I don’t want to give off that vibe the week before my wedding; it’s just been a hectic week.
I haven’t slept a lot, if you can believe it.
I also haven’t eaten a lot. My dinner the other night consisted of two big glasses of red wine.
Have I mentioned that I’m getting married in nine days?
I’ve started having dreams again where I arrive to my wedding and something goes horribly wrong.
In the last dream, one of my vendors never showed up. I got four hours of sleep that night.
And even if it’s not a bad dream, my mind is racing with nerves and excitement. I can’t wait, but I’m going crazy trying to keep myself calm enough to enjoy the ride.
It’s an odd dichotomy, but I’m trying to balance out my feelings without ruining the experience.
Part of that is easy too!
For everything that stresses me out and makes me want to pull my hair out, there are so many other things that bring me back down off the ledge.
I had my second fitting with the seamstress, and for the first time since becoming a bride-to-be, I felt good about the way I looked, how my dress fit and the entire ensemble (hair, headpiece and all). Obviously, this is not the most important aspect of the day; I just want to look back at pictures and be completely happy with how I look.
We had our final meeting with the reception venue and DJ. All the stress I had about the formalities of the evening are gone. We have our final count, know what everyone is eating for dinner, and have a plan for every dance, introduction and speech that night. I know once I step foot into the Green Ridge Club, everything will be taken care of.
The seating chart is just about done, which is its own headache, but my mentality at this point is dinner lasts an hour so everyone can suck it up.
The hours leading up to dinner are a different story.
Being in charge of the ceremony and the decor and the overall feel of this event are overwhelming. I need to balance the vision Mikey and I have for the wedding with something everyone can enjoy and get something out of.
Party planning stresses me out.
But, Mikey and I picked up our marriage license this week, which was an insane and amazing feeling. We’re so close to this next chapter of our lives, and it feels like it’s been a lifetime in the making.
We’ve been together so long that sometimes I get choked up thinking about the reality of our nuptials. He’s always been there, so I tend to take for granted that he’s promising to continue to be there forever, and that’s something I didn’t think anyone would actually want to do with their life, so it’s pretty cool.
Throughout this entire process, I’ve gone on about planning, writing ceremonies, picking vendors and everything that goes with planning a wedding. But, so often I only gloss over the immense love I have for the man that I’m marrying. He is my best friend, which sounds so cliche, and I’m sorry, but I really have found my partner in life, and I cannot wait to stand across from him and marry him.
