Weekender

Ask Phil: Can you feel the love tonight?

Dear Phil,

Man, where do I begin? I don’t know how my life ended up this way. Growing up, I had everything. But now it’s gone, and it’s all my fault.

My father was the king of a large African nation.

“Everything the light touches is our kingdom,” he used to say to me.

Admittedly, I was arrogant. You just can’t give a kid that much power and freedom, you know? I was such a handful — going to places I shouldn’t have gone, treating my babysitter horribly. But I always knew my family would stick by me. I even had a girlfriend, the love of my life. I just couldn’t wait to be king.

Then, one day, I was playing in a canyon when a stampede of wildebeests came out of nowhere. They were bearing down on me and, at that moment, I knew I was a goner. But my father rushed down to save me and was trampled to death in the process. In the aftermath, the guilt was overwhelming. How could I live knowing I caused my father’s death? With the kingdom in mourning, I fled in search of a new life. The only person I could tell at the time was my uncle.

I eventually landed on my feet. Although, I no longer had the privileges of being a prince. It was hard at first. There was a time when I almost gave up on life entirely, but I met two great friends, spiritual, care-free people, who took me under their wings. I became a vegan and lived my life by the mantra of “no worries.” It wasn’t the life I thought I’d have, but I was happy and that was enough.

Yesterday, however, my old girlfriend came back into my life. My friends and I were on a walk in the jungle and there she was. I couldn’t believe it was her. We caught up and laughed like old times. One thing led to another, and we ended up making love all night. It was beautiful.

Here’s the problem: She wants me to come back home. In my absence, my uncle took over the throne. He was never the nicest dude, but he’s gotten real bad. He let outsiders come in, over developed the land, and forced my friends and family to work for little food.

But how can I go back? I have so many things to tell her, but how can I make her see the truth about my past? Impossible. She’d turn away from me.

Sincerely,

Sim Ba

Dear Sim Ba,

I have to admit, this is some pretty heavy stuff. You’re really in a pickle here.

This sounds vaguely familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Is this “Games of Thrones” fan fiction?

Doesn’t matter; we need to hit the core of this issue. You have to ask yourself if your love is worth it.

It sounds to me like you have something pretty great in your life right now. Do you want to give it all up to go back to your country, which is currently at its lowest point of existence?

Sure, it’s kind of your fault. But, if a tree falls in the woods and you don’t see it, does it make a sound?

Sim, can I call you Sim? This sounds a lot like a friend of mine, Jack.

See, Jack was an adventurer and didn’t have any care in the world.

Like, literally.

He lived pretty recklessly. He stole, started fights, drank like a sailor — he was kind of a mess, if I’m being honest. He just didn’t care about anything or anyone.

But that got him into trouble. In fact, it got him arrested.

But you see, while Jack was arrested, this gang storms the town and captures the governor’s daughter, Elizabeth. So this fella named Will, who’s in love with Elizabeth, knows only one person in the entire world can get her back.

Jack.

And while Jack is used to his party lifestyle, he takes the straight and narrow path to do the right thing.

You see what I’m saying here?

I don’t know if this helps you out; it probably doesn’t, but just think about it.

So we started this little journey with a question, and now we’ll end it with another one.

Can you feel the love tonight? You needn’t look too far, stealing through the night’s uncertainties. Love is where you are.

I know you’ll make the right decision,

Phil

DJ “Phil” Eberle Ask Phil
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By Phil Eberle

askphil.tl@gmail.com

Reach Phil Eberle at 570-991-6398 or on Twitter @ByDJEberle.