The Prenuptial Project: Resilience important in life and wedding planning
I learned at a young age the importance of being able to power through certain situations, no matter what I was going through.
As a child, I performed in a lot of community theater as well as voice recitals and school productions. I also had a nasty habit of always getting a sinus infection right before a performance. It happened so often, it became a running joke with one of my teachers that the week of a performance, I would be sick.
But I powered through. I drank nothing but tea with honey, ate cough drops by the bag and prepared my voice for the strain of performing. Very rarely did I miss a performance.
In that sense, I had such a strong mentality of accepting something that was beyond my control, which is the exact opposite of how I am normally.
I always told myself in an extremely cliche way that the show needed to go on, whether I was sick or not.
My days as a performer have nothing to do with my wedding, but that mentality still lives to this day. I tend to work myself to the ground when I get sick because, as I have said before, the world stops for no one. I just tell myself I don’t have time to be sick, and I power through work, planning and getting ready to move.
In doing so, I have created an environment where I am so focused on a thousand different tasks that I end up letting things fall through the cracks. This first week of December has been a rocky one, to say the least.
I’ve tried desperately to get the apartment ready so we can be moved in before Christmas. It’s going well, but I’ve been so fixated on that goal that I forgot to order wedding invitations.
In the grand scheme of things, this is not the end of the world, but I have been so on top of my deadlines that letting something so major slip was a little unsettling. Mikey and I will order invitations, and I will be more diligent in balancing my workload, wedding plans, Christmas shopping and apartment renovations.
I have talked myself back into control of this situation, and therefore it’s one I can handle.
But, just like a nasty sinus infection a week before a recital, there are forces at work that even I cannot control.
Like I have said so many times before, I want to be honest and open in this space, no matter the topic. It would be a disservice to pretend everything is rosy and wonderful when it just isn’t.
I found out a couple of days ago that one of my bridesmaids can no longer be a bridesmaid. It was an unexpected conversation and one that, even as I write about it, shakes me to my core.
Through no one’s fault, life happens. It gets in the way of everyone, and we have no control over that. It’s heartbreaking for me to not have her in the wedding, but I’m sure it was just as heartbreaking for her to have to tell me she couldn’t participate in that role anymore.
It throws a few curve balls at the logistics of the wedding, which is the aspect of planning I’ve been diving into to keep myself preoccupied with the emotional toll news like that takes on you.
The fortunate part is that while my friend can’t participate as a bridesmaid, it will in no way keep her from still being a part of my wedding day, and I will still be surrounded by a lifetime of love and friendship on the biggest day of my life.
Reach Brigid Edmunds at 570-991-6113 or on Twitter @brigidedmunds.
Editor’s note: Brigid Edmunds is a reporter and paginator for the Times Leader and Weekender. When she’s not working, she’s busy planning her upcoming nuptials to fiance Mikey Lawrence.
If you’re a bride-to-be, recently got married or a vendor and would like to offer advice for brides, email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Her column, The Prenuptial Project, will run twice a month in Weekender.