Girl Talk: Taking time for kissing is good for your relationship and health
When a relationship first starts, the new lovebirds usually find themselves in a general state of nonstop honeymoon bliss. They can’t stop touching each other, tagging each other in memes online, texting for hours, and kissing.
During those first few months of relationship inception, new couples kiss so much that it seems their lips are going to fall off. Why is it that when a relationship becomes more of a comfort that making out is usually the first thing to go?
According to the Internet, kissing helps to reduce your blood pressure, relieve cramps and headaches, fights cavities, burns calories, tones your facial muscles and boosts your self-esteem. It seems like a wonder drug, and it’s certainly one exercise that is more fun than spending an hour on the treadmill. If it is so good and fun, why does it get put to the wayside when a relationship matures?
In a new relationship, couples find themselves kissing for hours, to the point where their faces feel numb. It sometimes parlays into sex, but normally, in the beginning, it is just innocent high-school-boyfriend-in-the-backseat making out. As a relationship matures, most couples report that making out only happens as a precursor to sex; if the tongue comes out during kissing, it usually means game on for other activities. No one is just kissing these days.
Most people could easily tell you about their first kiss, but for those of you in a long-term relationship, can you even remember the last kiss that wasn’t a gateway to sex? Kissing is more about intimacy and romance whereas sex focuses more on the carnal desires buried deep within each of our pelvic cavities.
When you’re having sex, the goal is to climax. Sure, it is undeniably fun and most of us, if given the option, we would happily do it five times a day, however; kissing is more about the snuggle. When someone is deeply kissing you, scientists say that the brain releases oxytocin, which gives you a natural high. Internally, your cranial nerves are getting busy sending happy impulses to the rest of your body, so when Ke$ha sang that “your love is my drug,” she wasn’t kidding. If kissing is so damn good, and good for us, why do we stop?
For most people, the urge to make out decreases with comfort in a relationship. Just like a child who tires of playing with the same old toy, we tend to forget over time just how great kissing really is. Life starts to get in the way. In the beginning of the relationship, when you were in your love bubble, you saw to it that you had time for nothing but this other person. Once the bubble pops and the other facets of your life start coming in, you make less time for five-hour make-out sessions because you’re just too damn busy.
Take a step back and remember what used to be good. Make time every day to deeply kiss your partner. While a peck on the lips when you leave is sometimes all you can fit into your busy lives, try to recall those blissful feelings of a deep kiss. That 30-second game of tonsil hockey will put you in a better mind set for the rest of your day, strengthen the bonds of your relationship, and get you high in the most legal way possible.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live and WBRE.