Advice from Melissa: How do I address my boyfriend’s laziness in our home?
My boyfriend and I just moved in together. When he lived on his own, he always kept his apartment moderately clean and generally taken care of. Now that we are living together, he seems to have gotten lazy. He doesn’t help with any of the housework; he won’t fix things when they break; and he just louses around the house watching sports and playing video games all night. I did not sign on for this. I feel more like his mother than his girlfriend. What do I do?
Not the mama
It sounds like he was previously being responsible because he had no other choice. He didn’t have you at his apartment to clean up after him and now that you guys are together he thinks he is on easy street. You need to have a conversation with him about splitting the household responsibilities so it isn’t all on you. Assign him a task if that is easier and get tough. If you don’t set up some rules and guidelines for living together upfront, it is only going to become a habit. He may not even realize that you are frustrated with his lack of assistance if you haven’t said anything about it and have just continued to do it anyway. If you don’t address the problem, you will find that you are going to harbor animosity and it could likely come out at a different point of your relationship. Few things are as damaging as misguided anger so nip it in the bud while its still early enough to do so!
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, and a radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.