Girl Talk: Relight the spark, because it isn’t going to light itself for you
When it comes to keeping the spark alive in your relationship, great sex is an integral factor.
Few things are as hot as when your partner lets you know that you are wanted. It could however become routine if sex is always initiated the same way and you follow the same routine. When it comes to your relationship, do you find yourself taking charge and trying new things or do you find yourself repeating the same old song and dance?
Spontaneous, take-charge sex is a surefire way to let your partner know that your flame for them is burning hot and heavy. Remember when you first started dating and you would throw down anywhere and everywhere? There was a time in your relationship where you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.
After the honeymoon days passed, you may have noticed that sex is on the decline. What used to be daily, has turned into weekly, then bi-weekly, then monthly, and eventually it feels like the well has gone dry. It is time to get wet again.
So how do we put water back in the well?
You need to take charge and put yourself in control. Think back to the early days of your relationship and try to recreate some of those moments.
In the beginning, you probably took each other on a variety of dates and tried new things together. Usually when a relationship matures, the dates lessen or become more routine. Instead of always going out to dinner, try something new. Incorporate a sexy surprise into the activity, and you may find your plans went from a date night to an unforgettable night.
Forget your traditional positions. Often couples find that when they have sex it can become routine. You know what gets each other off and that’s what you tend to stick with. Spice up your mattress mambo with a new move; there are plenty of them out there!
You can initiate great foreplay by sitting down together and Googling the Kama Sutra to see what could potentially be on the menu. It not only lets your partner know that you’re in the mood for something new, but picturing each other in these new moves and adventuring down new sexual paths together is a fun method of self-discovery.
You may try something that makes your inner lion roar in a way that you never would have previously known was possible. It is also a great confidence booster to your partner if he or she is the one to help you find that feeling.
If you aren’t comfortable talking about it, an easy way to let your partner know you’re ready to try something new can be as simple as a screen shot. If sexting isn’t your forte, let the image speak for itself, they will get the hint.
Don’t feel afraid to let your freak flag fly when it comes to keeping the spark alive. Take charge and let your partner know that you want them. Just knowing the desire is there is normally enough to get you out of your sexless slump. Take the assertive steps necessary to relight the spark, it isn’t going to happen on its own. The honeymoon days might be over in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean that you and your partner are banned from checking into a new hotel for the night.
Girl Talk began in 2012 as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and has evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa also has a weekly Girl Talk TV segment on PA Live and WBRE.