There are few things as relaxing as curling up with your favorite book.
Whether you have read it so many times the cover is falling off or you have sections memorized and can quote them line for line, there is something very comforting about knowing exactly what you’re getting into. You don’t have to worry about the book having a bad ending, and you know what to expect getting into it; it is the same reason so many people decide to have sex with their ex.
Sex with an ex comes with many pros and cons. On one hand, your partner count will not increase, you know getting into it whether or not its good sex and there is no awkwardness about doing it. On the other hand, they are your exes for a reason, and, unless the reasons for rekindled relations are clearly conveyed upfront, someone may end up catching feelings that the other party has no interest in reigniting.
During a recent coffee chat with a friend, she had advised me that she had started sleeping with her ex-husband casually again. When I asked her how that started, she said that one night after a few cocktails she was feeling fired up down below and realized she just needed good sex. She didn’t want to play bar-stool roulette and hook up with some random guy so she booty called the one person in her phone that could guarantee her a much-needed orgasm.
I wondered what the ramifications were going to be with that long term; they had a very tumultuous relationship from what I had remembered and other than the great sex, there wasn’t much to write home about with this guy. When I posed the question of her future intentions she merely responded with “We’ll see what happens; I’m not going to start seeing him again. It was just sex.”
Is it ever really just sex? Aside from a random hook-up, sex with someone you had once loved — and in her case, married — always comes with some form of emotional baggage. Generally speaking, the sex is better because of the previous emotional ties. It can be more satisfying as you already are familiar with every inch of their bodies and know the triggers that can cause their toes to curl.
She claims it was mutually understood that in no way does having casual sex together mean they were going to start dating, but I have noticed she has been texting him more often than before, and she has started making plans based on his availability.
Did sex with her ex mean something more?
I think she is just lying to herself saying it didn’t mean more, but we will have to see how many times she decides to reread that chapter of her life. I know how the book ended last time, but she has now decided to create her own adventure and see if the pages lead her somewhere new.
