Aspiring singer from Scranton to perform original music at Baltimore riots

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    Alexa Shonley of Scranton is a 19-year-old aspiring singer/songwriter who is taking advantage of the Baltimore riots in effort to have her music heard. She’s having a show in front of the city’s police department at “noon sharp” on Friday and is encouraging everyone who wants an end to racial profiling to attend. The choice was made after God told her to do it, she said.

    According to Shonley, “God must see me as a healer. That’s why he’s leading me to the riots. They’re obviously very hurt about something. I want to heal them with my music. Music heals. It’s been proven by, like, science,” Shonley said.

    Shonley said she hopes that in addition to “healing” rioters, her performance will go viral and catapult her career. “Every basic bitch with a dream puts their music on YouTube. I want to reach people in an innovative, out-of-the-box way that nobody has ever thought of before, ” Shonley said. “Like Ariel said in “The Little Mermaid,” ‘I want to be where the people are.’ Except instead of wanting to see them dancing, I want to see them rioting. Rioting around on those — what do you call ‘em? Oh, feet.”

    Voted Most Likely to Help Legalize Pot by her peers in high school, Shonley will perform original songs from her new self-released album, “My Stepfather’s Daughter.” The performer excitedly revealed that she wrote two new songs specifically for her performance in Baltimore: “Tear Gas On My Guitar” and “I Threw A Brick At The Sheriff.”

    Her decision to perform at the riots has people throughout Northeastern Pennsylvania expressing mixed feelings.

    “Turning the riots into a music festival to achieve fame? Ridiculous. That’s all I have to say about that,” said Ned Fellman of Bear Creek Township while sipping a can of Natty Light on his porch.

    On a more understanding note, Lackawanna County Prison Inmate Number 557832 said: “Hey, whatever it takes to get out of this town. I wish I had thought of something positive instead of stabbing my sister’s boyfriend. Best of luck to her.”

    Dot McSkwat who tickles her own twat on YouTube shared similar sentiments. “Our broken and corrupted judicial system and the over-incarceration of minorities in this country is a huge issue in this country that needs to be addressed,” McSkwat said. “We can’t arrest or incarcerate our way out of this problem.”

    Despite reactions from the community, Shonley is confident people will get to know who she is after her performance. “I’m blond, I’m sweet and I have sex with hockey players — I’m Hilary Duff, but talented. I can’t wait to introduce myself to the world.”