Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

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    Channing Tatum arrives at the 2015 Vanity Fair Oscar Party on Sunday, Feb. 22, 2015, in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    This past year, you’ve gradually reduced the lag-time between knee-jerk reactions and conscious ones. That means you’ve been giving yourself a chance to actually respond to situations with deeper, more long-term truths that stem from head, heart and gut, rather than the raw, animal ones that can sometimes emerge in the moment. This week, your goal should be to help yourself simultaneously slow down your life’s pace and speed up your head-heart collaboration. This is evolution at its most enjoyable, so eat it up, with a spoon.

    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    You and your rival(s) (who you’re barely aware of, ironically) are like two divas trying to share a single spotlight. There’s a lot of overlap; your songs and monologues keep blending, and none of it makes much sense or sounds that great. Consider what wavelength you’re broadcasting on. Who’s getting you, and who isn’t, and why? Switch it up a little this week; present yourself in new ways, do things you’ve never done, or use methods you haven’t tried. End result: An almost guaranteed reduction in your life’s dissonance, discord, and noise.

    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    Look to your watery cousin, Scorpio, for inspiration this week. Those Scorps know how to have fun, but they rarely stay on the bubbly surface of things. First chance they get, they take it down deep, to where shit lurks, where all the dark sex and mortality muckity-muck lives. Don’t resist the potent drive to follow them to those scary and exciting depths, because you’re likely to end up neck-deep in them, anyway. In other words, you might as well walk in under your own power with eyes wide open, so you can get the most of the experience, rather than getting dragged in backwards and upside down.

    Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

    You’re more liable to stumble over your next big thing (breaking your nose, front teeth, or pride in the process) than you are to find it while you’re hunting for it, right now. Sucks, doesn’t it? If you’re looking for it, you’ll miss it, if you’re not, you’ll fall on top of it (or him, or her, or them). It’s up to you, baby: Do you want to keep your pretty face and ego intact? Then step up the hunt and you’re golden. If not, just start jumping out of planes and playing in traffic, blindfolded (metaphorically, eh? Let’s not be stupid here); Featured in your next chapter: a secret treasure hidden inside your backpack (instead of a parachute) or a fender bender with a new love.

    Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

    You’ve got keys and keys and keys. You’ve got keys made of steel, bronze, bone, keys made of ideas and words, keys made of attitude, keys made of love, keys made of luck and circumstance, and keys made of sex and lust, and loads of other shit we can’t even put into words. But here you are, hitting a locked door, sticking in one plain old house-key, then giving up when that doesn’t fit or turn the lock. You’re like the goddamn janitor; there’s nowhere you can’t go. If only you knew that. Realize your door-opening capabilities, so you can concentrate on the real conundrum: Where to now?

    Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

    I wish the universe was inclined to simply reconfigure itself to make a space exactly the right size for exactly who you want to be, carve a niche for exactly the kind of life you want to lead. Don’t be deluded that that’s going to happen. Nothing’s going to change until you make it change. You have to force life to adapt to the person you want to become, by embodying that person, right now, whether it seems like it’s possible or not. This is how reality revolution happens, and no other way. Forge the path; don’t wait for it to just magically open up, because it never will. Now go. See you on the other side of the briar patch.

    Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

    This week you may be faced with questions you’ve never considered before, like: Does getting laid really matter? Is work more important than love? Is it vital to remember how to play, if it keeps you from conforming to a preconceived idea of yourself? The answer may be a resounding yes or no—and doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that you’re even asking yourself these questions. Don’t quit now when you’re so close to learning a truth about how you really feel that will change the way you live your life and experience other people forever.

    Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

    Heed the siren call of the open door at your peril. It’s your natural urge: when you see someplace new to go, you’re inclined to explore it, no questions asked. Only right now, that’d look an awful lot like fleeing, at least to some of the people nearby. If your next big adventure could also easily be perceived as a cheap escape route from a difficult scenario, you should at least think twice before you pursue it. After all, isn’t planting your feet and seeing your current situation through to its next chapter a new kind of adventure all its own?

    Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

    What would make, ultimately, a lackluster romance could actually be a kickass friendship, if you’re open to the possibility. Often these things can evolve quite naturally from casual friends with benefits to actual authentic friendship. However, in this case, sex could involve some emotional weirdness that creates more hurdles for you guys to jump between you and your eventual friendship. Of course, the choice is yours, but a moment of pleasure isn’t worth the hours of angst that could follow in this case. Why not just skip all that lust stuff, which is liable to be slightly mediocre, anyway, and just get straight to the good shit, the love?

    Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

    This week you may face one of those situations where greed handicaps artistic integrity. Learn from it; while it’s perfectly reasonable and desirable for you to make money (even good money) from your creative urges, it should never unduly influence you. That’s the difference between just selling and full-on selling out. Since you’re likely to have the sublime opportunity to choose between these two paths this week, make sure you’ve made up your mind which one is right for you before you hit that fork in the road.

    Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

    You’re such an emotional person it sometimes takes you a while to just push through the raw feelings a situation stirs in you before you can get to your deepest choices about how you can respond to it. While it’s often good to just go with your gut, your first reaction, it’s nevertheless useful to take a few minutes to give yourself time to figure out what your second, third, and seventh reactions are going to be before you select from among them—especially now when those gut reactions are going to be so damn big and dramatic that people could get screwed over, hard.

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    Faith is the key to your relationship(s). In other words, if you knew exactly why someone was good for you, they would no longer be quite so appropriate for you. An element of mystery is required in everything you love. So let it be there. Resist any urges to pick it apart or analyze it. The love of your life is perfect for you partly because you don’t know why they’re perfect for you. Get it? So enjoy it innocently instead of trying to figure it out. It’s a lot more fun and a lot less liable to screw your life up.