So a federal agency has called for a ban on all cell phone use by drivers, apparently even including those creepy-looking attachments that sprout out of people’s ears. The government (your tax dollars at work) says that it has done lots of investigation into this. It has concluded that we, as a nation, are too stupid to talk on the phone and drive. It didn’t mention anything about chewing gum while driving, but that is certainly under scrutiny. No doubt listening to the radio and talking to passengers is being looked into as well.
Fat chance the government will have on this. First of all, the surgeon general stated, unequivocally, in 1964, that smoking causes cancer. Did that stop anyone from sucking down the weeds? So how far do you think it will get on cell-phone use in cars, which only incidentally kills you, not directly?
The problem with getting this done is the overall pervasiveness and seduction of the damn things. It’s so easy to get a call, take it, and suddenly your mind is a million miles away from behind the wheel of a three-ton projectile going 70 MPH. I hate seeing other drivers with a phone up to their ear, and yet I find myself doing it as well.
Possibly we are going about this the wrong way. Maybe what we need is cars that drive themselves. Hear me out. Google (!) is working on this “cars that drive by themselves” idea. Not sure on the technology, but they have tested it in California where the first 25 questions on the state drivers exam have to do with filling out the accident report. It seems to work. They have done 140,000 miles so far with one accident, and that was when someone rear-ended a test car stopped at a red light.
Or how about this: Airplanes rarely hit each other or get lost. They have air traffic controllers with radar. How about we design a system that does the same thing for cars, except it also has the operators drive for you? Far-fetched? We have Air Force pilots in New Mexico flying combat missions in Afghanistan. Plus, we have a whole generation who played a lot of video games. You just tell the operator where you want to go, sit back, and fix yourself a margarita. This would end unemployment, pay for itself by eliminating accidents and increase sales at the liquor store. Wins all the way around.
Oh, we need “Jetsons”-style flying cars, too.
Reach Jim at contact@jamesrising.com. Even more rants are on his blog, updated every day that ends in “y” at jamesrising.com.
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