Big Sister Syndrome

My boyfriend says I have big-sister syndrome. This stems from the fact that I torture him whenever possible. I don’t mean physical torture, but rather your basic annoying tendencies. Here’s the sad part: I don’t even realize I’m bullying him. Random tickling episodes, spraying him with a water spritzer when he least expects it, attempting to touch his exposed neck with hands that had just been in the snow (this little action accidentally got him smacked lightly in the face when he was trying to block the cold hand. I slipped and he got tapped in the cheek. I actually still feel badly about that one.) I don’t know why I feel the need to tease my main squeeze, but for some reason, it just comes so naturally. My actions have struck up conversation between him and my little brother, Matt, who is now 26 and little cousin, Gregory, who is now 24. They were my “pupils,” if you will, and have recently revealed the bossy characteristics of yours truly, although I sill refer to them as solid leadership skills.

Bossy Sis #1 — If the boys faulted back in the day, I made them tell me what they did wrong and apologize. If they said it in fragments, I made them start at the beginning and say it as a complete sentence. If they forgot even a fraction of a word, the apology was cancelled and they had to start all over again.

Leadership translation — Lessons in proper sentence structure, meaning an apology instead of just talking.

Bossy Sis #2 — I made Matt and Greg play school constantly. Fortunately for them, my parents bought me a chalk board. I made them sit on the floor, read words I wrote on the board and listen to me “teach.” I think I even made them call me Miss Pugh.

Leadership translation — Pre-school preparation, listening skills.

Bossy Sis #3 — We often played “work” as children. The org chart was simple: I was the boss, they were the workers. I made them “punch in” and introduce themselves to me when they came in the “office” (an old office desk my dad picked up for us some where.) I required full names. One particular time they got creative with some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle names. Matt’s name? Leonardo Kulp. Greg’s name? Michelangelo Pee Pee. Their name choices, not mine.

Leadership Translation — Preparation for the work field, punctuality and proper pronunciation to their future employers.

Bossy Sis #4 — While playing “church”, I made the boys sit on a bench, better known as the pew, and sing from a hymnal. Since my sister often played piano in church, we had our church’s actual hymnal so they were required to sing from this one. They also sat quietly as I preached about Jesus and being a good person.

Leadership Translation – Love Jesus.

My lessons continued throughout the years, until of course Greg started picking up on the fact that he could simply refuse and go home at the end of the day. Matt, on the other hand, had to be a good student. He was stuck with me 24/7. Both of them turned out just fine. And Matt can’t say that all of it was bad. As I strengthened my solid leadership qualities, he learned some things, too, like how to spell “frog” before kindergarten.

You’re welcome, Matthew.

And for my boyfriend? I wouldn’t be such a “leader” if I didn’t love him. He knows that. And I think he’ll get used to my water spritzes and wedgies. It could be worse. I could make him read scripture. Or hell, I could call him Michelangelo Pee Pee.