Nothing says the holidays like a nice glass of wine. And nothing says, “WTF?!” like a nice bra full of wine. This holiday season, you can be fully stocked wherever you go with the WineRack flask bra!
I remember when I was in middle school the invention of the water bra blew my mind and my cup size. Now there is an adult version. I first heard of the wine bra in an episode of “The Mindy Project” on Fox starring comedian Mindy Kaling. Mindy fills up her cups during a dry office party – a genius idea, really.
I do struggle to find other reasons to wear the wine bra and so far I’ve only come up with:
• Cleaning the house hands-free.
• The ability to drink while I make pottery on that spinney thing from “Ghost.”
• Cab rides.
• Long walks.
• Relaxing yoga with wine sipping benefits.
Let me know if you have any wine bra scenarios that I missed.
You can purchase the WineRack flask bra on amazon.com for around $30. That’s about as much as a traditional stationary wine rack. The WineRack flask bra is a sports bra shape with a polyurethane wine well that hold 25 ounces of liquid. Attached to the bra is a long drinking tube with an on/off valve to control flow so you don’t have any embarrassing accidents, because you would not want to be embarrassed in any way while sipping wine through a straw attached to your breasts, full of wine. I joke, but I would be super excited if I got this for Christmas.
If you are not a wine fan, don’t fret. You can fill this puppy with any liquid beverage of your choice, although I would advise skipping the carbonated drinks, which can get flat no matter how much your cups runneth over. And don’t worry, guys. In my extensive research, I found the Flask Tie.
Just a warning: If you are attending an event that requires a tie, you may not want to be sipping liquor out of it all night. You can contact me via Gmail or Twitter if you would like to send me a wine bra. Happy holidays!
Whatever you do…
• Drink responsibly, even if you are sipping from your undergarments.
• Check out amazon.com for details and reviews of the WineRack.
• Please someone buy this for me.