I should probably be ashamed by how closely I relate to the lyrics of Miley Cyrus’ last two singles. Sorry, Mom and Dad, but there ain’t no shame in my twerking game.
In fact, ain’t no shame in my respect for Miley Cyrus. While everybody and their mother, mine included, is talking about how unrefined and outrageously inappropriate her behavior is, I believe everyone should take a Xanax and chill the hell out. Miley Cyrus is more than an overtly sexualized former Disney star with an oral fixation for sledgehammers - she is a role model for the Millenial generation! That’s right! MILEY CYRUS IS A MOTHER F—KING ROLE MODEL! DON’T GET IT TWISTED.
She gets paid to entertain us! Her music isn’t being played in Calcutta as a group of dehydrated nuns hand out bread crumbs to starving village folk, while scientists are in a lab trying to create the cure for cancer, or as an overture prior to the President making a speech about Syria. Miley Cyrus’ music is being played in nightclubs, dive bars, and basement parties hosted by douche bags looking to get laid while their parents are away in the Poconos for the weekend. She isn’t trying to save the world. That’s what weed and gay marriage is for. Miley Cyrus is simply embracing the transition of developing from childhood to adulthood, and all the experimentation and fun that comes along with it.
“She’s trying too hard to break away from her image as Hannah Montana,” my mother says whenever she sees Miley sticking her tongue out on TV.
Though everyone may not relate to the pressures of being hawked by the media, everyone can, or eventually will, identify with the extent of time in a person’s life that is spent pushing the limits of newfound freedom, playing around with blossoming sexuality, and craving attention so the people who knew you when you were younger are well aware that you are no longer the child you once were. For me, it was my Mom and Dad that saw me rebel, act dumb, and live carelessly. For Miley Cyrus, it’s the entire world.
I can only imagine what the ladies on “The View” would have to say about the time I dressed up as JonBenet Ramsey for Halloween in college, what joke Leno would come up with about the time a stripper I hired shoved a lollipop up my fraternity brother’s ass at a birthday party, or what anyone else would have to say about my behavior at 20 if I were being watched by the public eye.
Miley doesn’t care if the world knows she is being young and crazy like everyone else. She owns that she is young, wild, and figuring out her place in the world. She’s just acting how everyone else her age acts when they’re partying, and don’t let them fool you.
She preaches to just have fun and remember it’s our party, Millenials, we can do what we want to! Let the prude be haters, because you can’t be old and wise without once being young and crazy. That’s why one day, Miley Cyrus will be a grandmother with some awesome stories and great advice! #truth
- Follow Justin on Twitter @sorrymomanddad.