SORRY MOM & DAD: 9 signs that your 10-year high school reunion is creeping up


April 09. 2014 2:17AM

By - @civitasmedia.com






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From the moment we toss our high school graduation caps in the air, the world is ours for the taking! After climbing a mountain to get drunk in the woods with the only people our age that we ever knew, we set off on different endeavors to find ourselves and establish the lives we want. With a combination of hope and naivety, everyone creates that image of where they’ll be when everyone’s paths once again collide for their 10-year high school reunion.


For Romy and Michele, it was convincing their classmates they invented Post-it notes. As for me, it was encouraging my wife Ashley Olsen-Brown to set down her oversized purse and agree to a “Full House” reunion, dammit! The possibilities of our accomplishments seem endless when the idea of a 10-year reunion appears to be a lifetime away, but before your know it – BAM! – you receive an invitation to a closed Facebook group organizing your 10-YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.


“It’s really been 10 years?!” you repeat to yourself 57 times before spending the next hour and a half creeping on people’s profiles that you grew up with.


It happens before you know it and can easily feel unexpected as you get caught up in life. Before you think your “10-year” is a lifetime away, eyeball these nine signs that your 10-year high school reunion may be closer than you think:


1. You start spending “last call” with Carson Daly instead of at the bar.


2. Organic food is incorporated into your diet. As you start to mature, you become more aware of what you are putting into your body because you’re starting to slowly learn your lifestyle shows on you. Gone are the days of eating peanut butter from body parts followed by six days in a row of Taco Bell.


3. You can actually remember when MTV played music videos while people were awake. Seriously, though, WTF happened to “TRL?”


4. Having sex with an 18-year-old is something you would only be caught doing in Vegas.


5. Missionary sex becomes fun.


6. Pre-gaming evolves from Disney theme song power hours to taking a shot every time you and your friends creep on someone’s Facebook profile from high school and discover they got fat and don’t look as good as they used to in 2004 – which is also known as having Lindsay Lohan Syndrome.


7. When applying for a job, you seek HEALTH CARE BENEFITS versus the benefit of getting 15 percent off your favorite clothes at the mall.


8. You hear someone’s name that you graduated with and honestly can’t remember who the hell they are!


9. You can remember the sounds of the original members of Destiny’s Child, Nickelodeon’s Stick Stickly, and dialup Internet.




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