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Many years ago, Creedence Clearwater Revival glimpsed a bad moon on the rise. Here in the present, teenage girls across the universe seemingly only have eyes for one celestial body; “The Twilight Saga: New Moon.” Correction, teenage girls have eyes for several celestial bodies.
Packed with more adolescent beefcake than a Miley Cyrus video, “New Moon” stars Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen and Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black. For one to use swoon in describing the hormone-enraged young ladies in attendance is to do an injustice to swoon. Rabid comes much closer.
Rabid also touches on this chapter’s newest addition: werewolves. As if the eternal adoration of a coven of impossibly attractive vampires were not enough, “New Moon” introduces us to the werewolf pack of the Pacific Northwest. These are most definitely not our grandfather’s monster movies.
Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is enjoying life with Edward and his family. She has been accepted by the Cullens even though she is a human, and they are of the vampire persuasion. An unfortunate mishap during a birthday celebration shows Edward that perhaps their differences are too great. Coupled with the additional problem of the Cullen children’s lack of aging, this leads to a parting of the young lovers.
Bella falls into a depression that even the great Dr. Phil would find difficult to treat. However, old family friend Jacob appears as someone that can rouse Bella from her sorrow. Since she can seemingly only see glimpses of Edward during moments of great peril or danger, she decides to live on the edge and asks Jacob to help her fix up a pair of old motorcycles. This newfound danger Bella causes much concern among her human and not so human friends.
“Twilight’s” universal appeal is mirrored by Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” in that star-crossed lovers from different worlds pledge their undying love for one another. Time and again Edward lavishes prose upon Bella that any young woman would love to hear. “You’re my only reason to stay alive, if that is what I am,” is one particular line that shows the marriage of vampiric text and love-struck poet. And even though the melodrama is far too weighty for most mere mortals to endure, the intended audience seemed to be completely captivated by the onscreen love affairs.
Yes, plural is proper. To further thicken the plot, Bella begins to fall for Jacob. Of course, his being a werewolf poses equally dangerous, but different, problems from being involved with a vampire. Problems continue for Bella when Edward is given mistaken information that Bella is dead. He heads for Italy, home to the only creatures that can end his suffering as an immortal on the mortal plane, the Volturi, the Vampire “Council.”
Taken for what it is, and who it was created for, “New Moon” succeeds. The CGI work was better in this film than the first but still a far cry from the best available. And one should not be surprised. The audience for this film is far more interested in the pale, twinkling flesh of their immortal Edward and the ripped, animalistic physique of Jacob than CGI wolves appearing realistic. So whether you are a member of Team Edward or Team Jacob, one thing is certain: The film’s producers know that you are all members of team “Twilight.” And they are definitely, and successfully, catering to the home team.
Rating: W W 1/2
