Daniel Radcliffe in a scene from the supernatural thriller "The Woman in Black."
Alright, let’s get this straight: Daniel Radcliffe is not horrible. He was a decent “Saturday Night Live” host, he was bold and daring enough to stand naked in front of a man dressed as a horse on Broadway and unlike Lindsay Lohan, he wasn’t so damn show off-y with his alcoholism.
Granted, all of these things might not account for much, but in a world where 60 percent of everything is too loud, itchy or otherwise inedible, it counts for something. And as a non-horrible human being, Radcliffe deserved better than “The Woman in Black,” an atmospheric but dull haunted-house movie that is notable only in that it is the first film to be produced by the long dormant Hammer Studios since the mid-’70s.
As we’ve watched Radcliffe grow up as Harry Porter in all 12 installments of the wildly popular “Wizards of Waverly Place” series (yes, I jest), it’s more than a little jarring to see him in a role that doesn’t require him to carry around a magic ring and fight Orcs. But even still, Radcliffe acquits himself well as Arthur Kipps, a London solicitor who is tasked with traveling to a remote seaside village to sort through a massive collection of personal papers left behind by the late owner of a decaying mansion known as the Eel Marsh House. However, once Arthur arrives in town, he’s met with open hostility by the villagers who repeatedly insist that he avoid the Eel Marsh House and return to London. But being that this is a horror movie, Arthur doesn’t listen, and once he spends an evening at the spooky old manor, strange things start happening around town such as the fact that all of the town’s children keep dying under mysterious circumstances. Could the titular lady in black be involved? Or is it something else entirely? Like a mummy or Jack the Ripper or whatever. Who can say really?
“The Woman in Black” opens with an effective scene that finds a trio of unnervingly pale little girls calmly yet absently throwing themselves out of their bedroom window. From there we’re given even more chilling sights, such as a preteen slowly walking toward the camera as she’s engulfed by flames, a pair of tiny dogs in sailor suits who are placed in highchairs and fed like babies by a mentally unstable woman and a truly impressive display of creepy Victorian tchotchkes and clockwork toys.
It’s obvious that “The Woman in Black” offers a surplus of atmosphere but, unfortunately, that’s the only thing it has to offer. The story is slight and the mystery is obvious right from the start. Once the film reveals what the audience has already known, the film sort of hints at bigger twists and revelations that never actually come. Instead “The Woman in Black” kind of just spins its wheels and, much like last month’s “The Devil Inside,” leans heavily on the hoariest of horror cliches: The jump scare.
Dour, inert and almost painfully boring, “The Woman in Black” unfortunately serves as a reminder that old-fashioned horror movies should remain in the past.
Rating: W W
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