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At one point in “An American Carol,” Michael Malone (Kevin Farley), the film’s thinly veiled Michael Moore surrogate, appears on “The O’Reilly Factor” and is scolded by the perpetually yelling host for “making films that tell audiences what they want to hear.” It’s an ironic scene not just because the line is spoken by Bill O’Reilly and his misshapen, foam rubber head but mainly because it’s spoken in a movie that does nothing but pander to its conservative audience. In the crazy, mixed-up world of “An American Carol,” you’re either a warm, caring super-patriot or a stupid, self-involved liberal who hates the troops almost as much as bathing regularly. “An American Carol” isn’t satire. It’s not even parody. It’s a loosely connected series of Republican shouting points unsuccessfully masquerading as a slapstick comedy.
In this dim re-imagining of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” Malone, a left-wing activist and the director behind “Die You American Pigs,” is campaigning to end the Fourth of July because he feels that America’s past and present are offensive and shouldn’t be celebrated. Malone is then visited by the ghosts of George Washington (Jon Voight), General George S. Patton (Kelsey Grammer), John F. Kennedy (Chriss “Who?” Anglin) and Trace Adkins (Trace Adkins) who try to make him rethink his view of America and teach him the true meaning of compassionate conservatism.
For satire to truly work it has to be nonpartisan. It can’t carry an agenda, and it must be free of any and all ideological constraints. The fact that writer/director David Zucker ignored these important rules is why “An American Carol” is such a miserable failure. Often skewering his political targets in a glib, reductive way (example: College campuses are liberal indoctrination camps! Jimmy Carter is a wuss! Rosie O’Donnell is a crazy lard ass! Actually, that last one was a bad example — sorry), Zucker can’t even manage to mock Moore effectively. At one point, Zucker breaks Godwin’s Law by comparing Moore to infamous Nazi filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl. Granted, he nails some of the documentarian’s more obvious traits, such as his trademarked arrogance, but he overly exaggerates some (Ha ha! Moore is fat and smelly) and simply makes up others (since when is Moore a racist?). Malone is such a broad caricature that the filmmakers should’ve dropped any and all pretense and just called him Michael Mooron. I mean, they couldn’t have possibly thought that was too stupid. After all, these are the same people who thought it would be funny to take a Victoria’s Secret ad and redub it as — get ready to fasten your laughing belts — Victoria’s Burka! Ah! My sides are splitting! Good Lord, I’ve just been stabbed.
“An American Carol” is one of those movies that goes out of its way to remind you how offensive it is. It isn’t. In fact, the most offensive thing about the movie is its continued insistence that documentary filmmaking isn’t real filmmaking. It’s a weird accusation, especially considering it’s coming from a man who’s given us “My Boss’s Daughter” and the last two “Scary Movie” sequels.
No Ws
