There is nothing quite like a good old-fashioned surprise. The latest in a continual series of retreads, “Piranha 3-D” promised us quite literally nothing. Prior to viewing, one could have assumed that watching the trailer would amount to as pleasurable an experience as sitting through the film. Actually, a safe bet would have been that the trailer’s length would make it a far more pleasurable experience. Cue surprise.
A grand seismic event in the region surrounding Lake Victoria, a spring break hot spot reminiscent of Lake Havasu, causes a deep rift to open beneath the lake. This rift connects to a separate lake beneath the surface of the first, as well as a problem — actually thousands of toothy, prehistoric problems.
In a script that borrows quite readily from “Jaws,” “Piranha 3-D” at least possesses the decency to give a giant nod to one of the greatest films of all time, but more importantly, it is self aware. This is camp at its absolute finest, and the film never attempts to rise above that line. As for breaking new ground in going beneath the line, that is a completely different story.
The word gratuitous pales in the face of the debauchery exhibited by this film. Were he still amongst us, the Roman Emperor Caligula himself would be heard to exclaim, “My, that’s a bit excessive.” Gore, boobs, hedonism, body shots, simulated intercourse, boobs, chewed penis, bikinis, behinds and even more boobs abound throughout just about three-fourths of the film’s running time. Imagine the offspring of “Faces of Death: Amazon Edition” and “Girls Gone Wild.”
The “Jaws” nod arrives in the form of one Richard Dreyfus. The realization that it is him may cause you to clean your 3-D specs, but it is Mr. Dreyfus in the flesh. He is in the film’s opening and is as good a reason as ever existed to get your behind to the theater on time. The strange thing about “Piranha 3-D” is that Dreyfus is not the lone name. Surprisingly, once again, far from it.
Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O’Connell and Eli Roth all appear in more-than-cameo capacities. Shue is the sheriff of the destination-turned-waterborne-buffet, while Rhames patrols alongside as her top deputy. O’Connell strays about as far from his “Stand By Me” beginnings as possible by doing an impressive impersonation of Sleaze of the Century award winner Joe Francis, creator of “Girls Gone Wild.” In an equally lecherous turn as a wet T-shirt contest host, Roth really brings his A game. But, as one would expect, Lloyd brings the smile-meter to a ringing 10 by channeling everyone’s favorite doctor (“Back to the Future”). This time out, he’s a fish specialist, a dazzling, daffy fish specialist.
The film’s other lead is dual: The piranha and 3-D. While better than what the “Clash of the Titans” offered, aside from a few distinct moments, 3-D was completely unnecessary. The use of this technology and the phrase 3-D is now the thing in Hollywood, so you better get used to it.
Is “Piranha 3-D” for everyone? The simple answer is a resounding “no.” The described shenanigans should really paint a picture of what the film contains. It is a great flick to see if you want to catch a laugh with friends or even with the one you love, if you both possess a somewhat twisted sense of humor. It will not change your life, nor will it enlighten you in any meaningful manner. But taken for what it is, you will forget your troubles while laughing, flinching and ogling along with the rest of the theater goers. And that makes for a truly satisfying surprise indeed.
Rating: W W W
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