Like most people, I wasn’t just convinced that the 2003 adaptation of “The Cat and the Hat” was the worst movie ever made: I was also convinced that it was the worst thing ever made by man in recorded history. Crafted on a rickety foundation of smutty gags and easy pop culture references, “The Cat in the Hat” was such a tacky, overblown eyesore that I was shocked when it was announced shortly thereafter that “Horton Hears a Who” would be turned into a major motion picture.
Obviously, I thought the worst. Would Rob Schneider appear in a latex elephant suit? Would washed-up celebrities like Lindsay Lohan and Gary Busey pop up in self-deprecating cameos for no particular reason? Would the filmmakers feel that Dr. Seuss’ original story wasn’t crass enough and include a sequence in which a farting Horton vomits his way through a boner factory?
Thankfully, the answer to all of these questions is a resounding no because “Horton Hears a Who” isn’t the disaster I initially perceived it to be. But just because a film exceeds your meager expectations doesn’t make it good. It simply makes it bearable. Although affable and charming, the movie remains unnecessary and slight.
As in the book that inspired it, the movie tells the story of Horton (Jim Carrey, significantly less annoying here than when he was in “The Grinch”), an elephant who discovers the city of Who-ville on a speck of dust floating through the air. Although tormented by his narrow-minded neighbors (which include Carol Burnett as the Sour Kangaroo and Will Arnett as Vlad the Eagle) who believe that nothing could survive on something so tiny, Horton assumes the responsibility of protecting the Whos and their home.
Simple enough, right? Well, not quite, because in order to stretch this five-minute story into an 86-minute feature, we’re constantly introduced to an almost endless series of superfluous characters who serve no purpose beyond running out the clock. Such as the bumbling Mayor of Who-ville (Steve Carell), his mopey, emo-loving son (future has-been Jesse McCartney) and a sarcastic mouse named Morton (suddenly ubiquitous Seth Rogen).
Like most animated films from Blue Sky studios, “Horton Hears a Who” looks good enough to momentarily distract attention away from its more glaring flaws, and the screenwriters (Ken Daurio and Cinco Paul who also gave us “College Road Trip”) at least deserve credit for staying true to Seuss’ original themes. Unfortunately, much like the regrettable “Shrek” series, the movie relies far too heavily on lame wordplay (instead of Myspace, the Whos visit “Whospace.” Get it?); “Family Guy”-styled plot digressions; noisy, unwelcome slapstick and clumsy irony (inexplicably, during the finale, the cast sings REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling”). It’s less a movie and more a disposable commodity.
Although not an unpleasant film to sit through, “Horton Hears a Who” is simply too bland to recommend. If you want to show your children a far more entertaining Dr. Seuss film, why not rent the “5,000 Fingers of Dr. T?” It’s like “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” only substantially weirder.
w