“What’s the weather like out there?” asks the friendly drawl on the other end of the line when called for directions. “I’m in a dungeon so I don’t know.”
After she gives directions, the drawl advises us to call again once we’ve parked.
“That way, I’ll send my slave Bob out to get you since I’m in all leather.”
Bob would then lead us into the Women of Discipline Studios and The Segreto Dello Zane Bed & Breakfast where we would come face to face with Head Mistress Vendela Zane.
It’s an ordinary house on an ordinary street in Scranton.
But down the narrow steps to the low-ceilinged basement, and it’s no usual rec room.
Whips, floggers and a gag ball dangle from hooks on the wall. Below an aquarium where a lobster named Hector clicks around is a dry- erase board with “I will listen to my mistress” written repeatedly, followed by “Insubordination will not be tolerated.” A framed quote declares “Once power is taken it won’t be given back.” A wooden X-shaped cross takes up a corner. A leather mask perches forebodingly nearby while a silver dog bowl sits on the floor behind a school desk for bad little students — but there is no dog.
“Men, when they come and see me, are not allowed to drink out of glasses,” says Head Mistress Vendela Zane while sitting in her dungeon. “That’s my rule. And they’re not allowed to sit on furniture.”
To attest to that, Bob stands at the bottom of the stairs. Very clearly his mistress, Vendela treats Bob firmly but with a veil of respect when interacting with him.
“I say ‘Thank you’ to Bob because I respect his servitude,” Vendela says. “It’s a two-way street. If he’s happy, he makes me happier.”
Vendela, 35, is dressed in high-heeled leather boots, leather skirt and leather corset over a demure white button-down shirt, tie and pearl necklace. She has raven hair and red lipstick and looks very much like a ’50s pinup, or at the very least, a fetish model — which she also happens to be in addition to being a dominatrix.
Originally based in Orlando, Fla., Vendela created Women of Discipline Studios to offer a safe and clean environment for women, men and couples curious about consensual dominance and submission practices.
With her studio and The Segreto Dello Zane Bed & Breakfast, this Walt Disney World-trained chef de cuisine offers packages like Dinner & Dungeon, which includes dinner and playtime with her, her studio member, Ms. Aye Provide, or both of them.
“It’s always been my dream to do something for couples and people who are into this scene or want to explore it,” Vendela says.
Commonly known as BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism), the practice/lifestyle involves at least two people, with one partner dominating the other. Called “pro domme,” a professional dominant is defined by Wikipedia as: “a person who performs the dominant role in BDSM activities in exchange for money. Most professional dominants do not have sex in exchange for money, and do not regard themselves as prostitutes,” a fact that Vendela makes clear in person and on her Web sites.
“I’m a sex worker — I just don’t have sex with people,” she says.
Instead, her brand of discipline involves, but is not limited to, flogging, caning, spanking, whipping and humiliation as well as verbal and psychological play. The latter is something she is well trained for: Vendela holds two master’s degrees, including one in psychology/counseling with minors in psychology, sociology and physical fitness. She is also certified in CPR and General First Aid.
“I can really get into someone’s head very well,” Vendela says with a laugh. “I provide an erotic background, and then people have fantasies in their head that they haven’t been able to express. A lot of the fantasies are fairly simple, [but] they can’t ask their wives or significant others to do that.”
Vendela got turned onto the BDSM lifestyle at age 16 when she dated someone older who was into the scene, though she gravitates more toward the S&M.
“A lot of people don’t look into the psychology aspect part of it — they think pain, hurt, non-consensual and whatever else they think when they think of S&M or the typical look of what we do,” she explains. “It’s a lot different than that, definitely.”
It might not be surprising that the majority of Vendela’s clients are men, with a few women and couples mixed in. She does not ask whether the couples are married. What might come as a surprise is the age of her clients: most are 50 and older.
BDSM safety and education
A Google search of BDSM brings up more than 63 million results for forums, personals, videos and of course, Web sites with pictures, but the lifestyle is much more than just getting your kink out. There are associations that educate and support members of the leather/BDSM/fetish community to keep them safe and consensual. (The leather culture refers to practices and styles of dress organized around sexual activities and eroticism.)
One such organization, the National Leather Association International (NLA-I), was founded in 1986 by Steve Maidhof. Within three years, every major city had a chapter, and now, with more than 300 members, chapters can be found in Canada, Australia and the U.K.
“The basis of the organization was to provide education about the lifestyle,” says NLA-I President Vincent Andrews of Kansas City, Mo., “and also to provide activism and lobbying, working with the legislature to ease laws on BDSM and gay and lesbian rights.”
NLA-I also works with organizations like the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the Sexual Freedom Network to target specific issues involving the leather, BDSM and kink communities — and deals with morality laws put in place by elected officials.
“People like pro dommes or people who want to host play parties, they’re trying to build up laws that restrict that,” explains Andrews. “People that want to be kinky in their own homes … If neighbors hear the smacking and the howling, they may contact the police and say domestic violence is going on.”
An issue that NLA-I is focused on right now is its Domestic Violence Project, in which it urges lifestyle participants to recognize what is a healthy relationship and what is an abusive one. NLA-I hopes to create a network to provide resources like safe shelters and information to community members who may have been in violent and abusive BDSM relationships and are looking for a way out of them.
The organization is also working on a book that would help domestic violence counselors serve lifestyle participants better, because many counselors aren’t familiar with master/slave relationships.
“Many times, [domestic violence] counselors don’t know how to answer those questions,” Andrews says.
A problem Vendela sees within the lifestyle is that there is no training to be a dominatrix, thus, there’s no regulations.
“Anyone can call themselves anything these days,” she says, adding that she advises anyone interested in the lifestyle to seek out mentors within the community. “There’s so many groups out there now, you can find someone decent. Research it.”
Separate lives
Obviously, the life of a dominatrix is not one for the faint of heart or spirit. Many receive warnings, death threats, have stalkers and are even mailed dead animals.
Before moving to NEPA to tend to her father, Vendela looked to relocate from Florida after separating from her son’s father. One city this self-proclaimed redneck was interested in was Nashville, Tenn. After doing research on the area, she announced that the city was a big possibility.
A few days later, she received a package which she opened with her young son in the backseat. Inside was a dead cat. Or more specifically, the front part of a dead cat with a note that read “You are not welcome here.”
Disturbed, Vendela covered the package with her coat so her son wouldn’t see it and drove home to call the police. Because the sender sent his feline parcel priority mail, he was caught and is in jail.
“He was only a 19-year-old kid,” Vendela says. “There is no way he was getting any enjoyment out of my Web site. I don’t do anything nude; all my sites are clean and free.”
Being in the business so long, Vendela considers herself seasoned at cutting through the creeps while relying on her instincts to let her know that a potential client is really just a prankster.
“I get people who just want to [masturbate] on the phone, which I can sense in a second,” she says, snapping her fingers. She usually thanks them for calling and hangs up.
This part of her life is kept separate from her son. When asked how she handles that division, especially the leather attire which makes up most of her wardrobe, the answer comes easy.
“My son thinks I’m a superhero. I wear great clothes,” Vendela says. “Actually, when I was at home doing my makeup this morning, I said ‘How do I look?’ and he said, ‘You look like the movies!’”
The exhibitionist in her likes the reaction she sometimes gets in everyday life.
“I can clear the aisle at the grocery store like the Red Sea. I walk through, and they’re like ‘Did you see that?’” she says. “I know it may be looked at upon in the public eye per se as something completely deviant and nasty, [but] if they knew how hard I work and how it’s really not all about the accoutrement” — she gestures to the tools of her trade before pointing to her head — “It’s about up here.”
Involved with her son’s school, Vendela is also active in the community — having worked with the Pediatric AIDS foundation in Baltimore, where she lived before moving to Florida — and that hasn’t stopped in NEPA. She raised $800 last Christmas for Toys for Tots via “Swats for Tots,” something she does each year.
“You get spankings, give me a donation, and I go by toys for kids,” Vendela explains. “I give back to my community, it’s very important. People don’t think of [us doing] that kind of stuff — they look at what their perception is.”
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go:
What: Women of Discipline Studios and The Segreto Dello Zane Bed & Breakfast, run by Head Mistress Vendela Zane
Web: www.whipgirl.com, www.womenofdiscipline.com
Phone: 888.274.4909