The Prenuptial Project: Nudging groomsmen necessary as deadlines approach
When Mikey and I first started dating and we would get into stupid little fights, my mother would always tell me, “girls mature faster than boys.”
She often told me that as a way to calm me down when I would get frustrated that he didn’t plan as well as I did, or didn’t understand my feelings about something.
Now, we have survived seven years of growing together, but I would argue that I’m still a much better planner than he is.
Don’t get me wrong, he has been such a help in making decisions with the wedding so far and in our venture into remodeling our new apartment. He has taken initiative on so many projects we have going on in our hectic pre-married life, and he completely blows me away with how involved he is every step of the way.
Other times, however, it seems like he needs a little more nudging in planning.
There are certain aspects of planning that I’m trying to let him handle without me, such as coordinating with the groomsmen when they should get together to look at suits, talking with them about logistics about the wedding day, etc.
Both of us have started group chats with our sides of the bridal party. The last time there was communication in mine was about a week ago.
The groomsmen chat? About five months ago.
Now, I have a lot more to plan with my girls than the groomsmen do. Between the shower, ordering dresses, talking about decorations and planning the bachelorette party, we have a chat, two Pinterest boards and a lot of in-person communication.
And I can’t sit here and say they don’t talk. They constantly talk. They have multiple group chats between PC gaming, and sending each other jokes and videos — they are a close-knit group and do almost everything together.
Maybe the guys have less to plan, but they also need to start planning, as I not-so-gently started reminding Mikey about once a week.
With less than 200 days to go and looming deadlines, I’m looking for new ways to inspire the guys to kick it into high gear.
Our projected deadline of ordering suits is quickly approaching by the beginning of next year. This is also the deadline for ordering dresses, and I’m going to spend a moment bragging that all the bridesmaids have their dresses picked out, and most have ordered already.
I don’t take any responsibility for how on top of everything my bridesmaids are; they are definitely the reason I am so on my game. Their constant support, help and ideas keep me motivated and help keep this process fun along the way.
I am also not dissing the groomsmen in any way. They’re my friends as well: They have welcomed me into their group since long before Mikey and I were a couple, and have become a second family to me.
I can’t help but feel like a mom, constantly nagging them, sometimes.
Reach Brigid Edmunds at 570-991-6113 or on Twitter @brigidedmunds.
Editor’s note: Brigid Edmunds is a reporter and paginator for the Times Leader and Weekender. When she’s not working, she’s busy planning her upcoming nuptials to fiance Mikey Lawrence.
If you’re a bride-to-be, recently got married or a vendor and would like to offer advice for brides, email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Her column, The Prenuptial Project, will run twice a month in Weekender.