Girl Talk: Respect yourself: Don’t be easy and don’t settle
No one said that being single was ever going to be easy. It seems everyone out there has their own agenda. Is anyone actually looking for a relationship or is everyone just looking to get hooked up and move on to the next one? I am not. I want love, and I have never felt so painfully alone.
We live in a world where emotions are on the back burner. People want to hook up with you and make that physical connection, but when it comes to the emotions behind it, the walls are up. Someone has hog tied cupid and locked him in a dark room somewhere. Emotions are out this season. The heart has become an unwanted accessory and the last part of your body that people seem interested in.
Perhaps I am feeling jaded. Why, you ask? Because people have made me that way. Guys, I speak on behalf of all of the ladies out there when I say that I am not a hole.
That might seem to be a bit crass, but it is true. We live in a society where people want to sleep with you but not actually make any kid of emotional bond. Sex has no face, a hole is a hole. I had a guy, whom I considered a friend. Nothing physical had ever happened between us at any point. One day recently, he texted me and asked to come over and hang out and hook up. He didn’t want to date. He didn’t want to get to know each other. He just wanted to Netflix and chill…sans Netflix.
The conversation went like this: He asked me to come over, literally to just hook up. That is not the kind of girl I am, nor is it the type of relationship I am looking for, so I said no. How about we talk and hang out and see if there is chemistry and see what happens? His response was “if we aren’t going to have sex, I am not going to waste my time coming down there, so yes or no?”
Well guess whose number was promptly deleted from my phone. I am not a waste of anyone’s time. I know my worth. I know what I deserve and I refuse to disrespect myself and settle for anything less.
Being single is tough. A wise cartoon once said to me that people, like onions, have layers. The more layers you peel off, the stronger the stench and the more likely you are going to cry. I am tired of onions. I am tired of being so skeptical and I am tired of being treated like a hole.
So I am putting it out there. I am starting a personal revolution #IamNotaHole
I want women to take pride in their bodies and respect themselves. Guys think they can just hook up and move on because we let them think that way. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t be the butt of anymore jokes, the village bicycle, and the “skank.” Don’t be easy, don’t settle, and most importantly, don’t ever let anyone treat you like you are nothing more than a hole, because you are a whole lot of amazing.
Melissa Hughes is a 30-year-old single mother of one. Girl Talk started as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa has a weekly TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, discussing activities in Weekender and a Girl Talk radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.