I just turned 25, and my mother is hell bent on me getting married. She is in poor health and she says she wants to die knowing that I am taken care of and have some stability. I have an excellent job and am not worried about being unattached. I don’t date much, which is OK for now. I am happy that I am focused on my career and my own goals.
I tried to explain to Mom how demeaning this is, but she became hostile and said she is only trying to help me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, and we get along fine, but this is more than I can take. I feel like she is using her bad health to push me into something I am not ready for and won’t take no for an answer.
I’m not interested in wedding bells at this point in my life. I find myself becoming resentful of my mother so I am spending less and less time with her. It hurts me because I know her health isn’t good and if something happens to her I will not be able to forgive myself for not being around for her in the end, but I can’t walk in a room without her getting on me about getting married. What do I do?
Dear Sassy Single,
Boy do I know this problem all too well. Although my family isn’t going through the health problems, I still get the comments constantly about being not married at my age. I love them, but the constant reminders of my single girl status are less than great for my mental health.
Your predicament however is extra messy because of Mom’s health. I can understand and appreciate she is speaking from a place of love. She wants to make sure you’re not alone after she is gone because she worries for you. You need to find a way to sit down with her and tell her that there are worse things you can be than single. Explain to her that you don’t want to rush into anything because it might not be the right time or with the right person and if she is really concerned about your happiness that she will let you do this and find the right person at the right time. Rushing into something just to be a married status is not going to find you that security and happiness she thinks your life is missing.
There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right one at the right time and she needs to have faith and confidence in you that you will make the right decision when you are ready for it and that you will have your happily ever after. You hold the pen to your own story. Enjoy the time you have with your mom while you can, you will regret it when it is too late if you don’t take advantage of it now.
Good luck to you and your mom.
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