Soul mate. Those two little words have been thrown around in movies, music and books for as long as I can remember. From the beginning, the great love stories we studied from Greek literature stated “The first humans were created with four arms, four legs and four eyes… They had two noses and two mouths and they terrified Zeus… He believed they had eminent powers and feared there would come a day when one would take his place as Ruler. To prevent such an incident from ever occurring, Zeus split each human in half and left them to wander aimlessly around the mortal world searching for their other half; their one true soul mate”
A soul mate is supposed to complete you. He or she is supposed to fill the gaps. All of my life I thought a soul mate was going to come in my life and shake things up and I would be changed forever. I recently started questioning that belief.
If a soul mate is supposed to make me feel complete, they wouldn’t shake up my life as I know it. My life is who I am. A soul mate accepts and loves you and complements who you are. They do not try to change you into someone else. They don’t need to shake things up. They need to fit and you need to fit with them. It is supposed to feel natural.
Many people will wander through life and never find their soul mate. They often settle for a life partner. Not to discredit life partners, you can surely love them to no end and cherish everything about them and find your happiness with them, but they never really “get” you.
A life partner can be a wonderful companion, lover and friend. They can give you stability and security but they will never be as aligned with your soul and awaken your heart and spirit like a soul mate can.
Maybe we have many soul mates in this life and it has nothing to do with physical love and attraction. I have some of the most incredible friends who understand me, love me unconditionally, challenge me and awaken parts of my soul that I sometimes forget exist. These friendships were never forced, they are people my soul gravitated to and the friendships developed naturally.
Soul mates come into your life when you are ready for them to be there. When you need a lesson, they are often there in some way to teach it. So many people spend their lives praying to meet their soul mate without first knowing their own soul and what it is they need.
So don’t go looking for it, look within. Get to know yourself, love yourself and only then will you be ready for that level of love to come into your life. If you do go looking for it, look to your family and friends, your soul mate is probably already there.
Melissa Hughes is a 30-year-old single mother of one. Girl Talk started as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa has a weekly TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, discussing activities in Weekender and a Girl Talk radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.