As science advances, we are able to make certain choices not previously available to older generations. With the right amount of money you can choose your baby’s gender, you can have corrective surgery on your eyes so you no longer need glasses and you can even get a face transplant in the most extreme butter-face situations. What if you could design your perfect mate? Would it be modern day witchcraft to be able to write down all of your desired qualities and have this person just magically appear before you? In the end, would you be satisfied with the results?
As I was driving in to work, I was listening to my favorite morning radio show, Rocky and Lissa on 98.5 KRZ, and the Megan Trainor song “Dear Future Husband” came on. Trainor received a lot of flak for this catchy little number from people saying it set the feminist agenda back 50 years. I have been fighting the good fight for gender equality for as long as I can remember and I disagree. I don’t see anything wrong with hoping you find a mate that respects you, keeps you sexually satisfied and gives you the occasional gift as a token of their love. It got me thinking, if I could design my future husband, what qualities would I look for? Are my dream qualities attainable or can this person not exist? You decide.
Dear future husband,
I will be the first to admit that I am not the easiest to always get along with so I hope that you have patience. I hope you see the good in me despite all of my flaws and that you are a constant supporter of my hopes and dreams, no matter how crazy they can sometimes be. I would love it if you were ambitious and had dreams and goals of your own so that I can be there to support you as you chase them. I want you to know that I am independent and often do my own thing but sometimes I will need your help and I will be too stubborn to ask for it. Offer it anyway.
I want us to have great conversations and if our opinions about things are different, that’s OK. I want someone who can challenge my way of thinking but also is open to having their opinions questioned. I want you to push me to do my best and be understanding when I get mad at you for it but know that it’s OK to say “I told you so” when you were right….sometimes.
I want you to know that I am emotional on both ends of the spectrum. If I love you, then I am going to want to shout it from the rooftops and take a million pictures of us and I will be extra mushy. On the other hand, if I am sad, I will cry and sometimes say hurtful things as a defense mechanism, I don’t mean them. Sometimes I just need to cry and I need you to hug me so I can cry on you. I need to be able to bitch to you about my friends and family when I am mad at them but I don’t want you to hold a grudge against that person because we will likely be back to normal after the storm passes.
I need you to love me. I need you to tell me you love me. I need you to show me that you love me and you respect me and that you value me. I promise to do the same to you. Then maybe, future husband, things are going to work out just fine. A great sex life will also sweeten this deal…just saying.
Yours in waiting (with a ring size 7),
Melissa Hughes is a 30-year-old single mother of one. Girl Talk started as a telltale horror story of the city’s most epic dating disasters and evolved into a column about love, life experiences and growing up. Melissa has a weekly TV segment on PA Live, WBRE, discussing activities in Weekender and a Girl Talk radio segment every Wednesday on 98.5 KRZ.