Sign Language

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) What you think is a mutually beneficial arrangement isn’t. You’re being—possibly quite subtly—screwed over, ripped off, or simply taken advantage of. Please don’t become overly suspicious, however, and start slinging accusations. That’ll just get you into hot shit on many fronts while not catching out the one who’s effectively robbing you […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Wild creatures often have remarkable senses of direction. They can somehow orient themselves towards home, without familiar landmarks, even from great distances away. The Sagittarian internal compass, however, works differently, pointing unerringly towards unfamiliar territory—new and unexplored physical, mental, and spiritual landscapes. Consequently, you tend to steer relationships into whitewater and […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) How can I describe what’s happening for you astrologically? It’s something like when a dowdy housewife dopes the kids and puts them to bed early so she can greet her husband after work garbed in nothing but plastic wrap. Well-intentioned, but more comedic than sexy. You, too, might experience some weird […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I got an email from a desperate Sagittarian pleading that I go easier on your tribe, contending that I obviously must hate all of you. I see where he’s coming from; actually you’re one of my top three favorite tribes in the zodiac, and comprise a good chunk of my closest […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) It might take you a few tries to hit the right note, but don’t give up. Your audience has a remarkable degree of patience for you right now. They want to see you succeed and shine, so they’re willing to give you the chance to start over several times, until you […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You know what you need in your life right now? A Virgo. A Virgo will show up at your place, water the plants (all on the verge of death), wash the moldy dishes in the sink, open the windows, and generally help you get your shit together by taking care of […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) If only all the pests clinging to you would realize it’s wintertime and finally just drop off and die, like fleas. But your parasites are a little more resilient than that, unfortunately. To rid yourself of their sapping presences, you’ll need to be a bit more proactive than you have been, […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) I would say you’re one of the most compelling, wise, and intense people in the zodiac, but you’re also one of the least practical, realistic, or cautious. Believe me, I’m not a big fan of boring, safe people; that’s why I love you Scorpios. But I find you so much more […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

October 20-26, 2015 Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Asian honeybees, when defending their hives against rapacious (and much larger) wasps, cook them to death. They surround the wasp with dozens of bees, vibrating to produce 113° or more of heat. If it were just a handful of degrees warmer, they’d die themselves. Emulate their example. Sometimes […]

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Sign language: What do the stars have in line for you?

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) You get it: you have different kinds of connections with different people, and it’s best to just let the connection be what it is rather than impose something else on it. For instance, I rarely have great sex with Taurens—we just don’t click that way—but we generally have a huge mutual […]