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NOVEL APPROACH: How to be happy

by Stephanie DeBalko
Weekender Staff Writer

The self-help section of the bookstore is one place most of us don’t wander into with eager delight. After all, it doesn’t always contain the most uplifting material, and the average person does not want to readily admit to needing counseling from Dr. Phil. But amidst all the hokey titles and weight-loss hypnosis hardcovers, there lurks a book that warrants a venture into this oft-dreaded aisle. “The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin is definitely worth the suspecting glances from fellow shoppers.

“The Happiness Project” (along with her blog of the same name) is Rubin’s attempt at appreciating life and living it to the fullest. Sure, it’s not like we haven’t heard that idea before, but the difference with Rubin’s project is that she is not only proposing lifestyle changes, she actually puts them to use herself. Over the course of a year, the author makes monthly resolutions dealing with everything from money and marriage to parenting and friends. The challenge each month is to keep the resolutions from the months before while following the new ones as well. She also presents her “Twelve Commandments” for life and “Secrets to Adulthood” and encourages the reader to come up with a personalized set of each. The author’s purpose is to motivate others to create their own happiness projects, with goals and resolutions specific to their particular situations.

Though not a particularly unhappy person, Rubin felt the gnawing suspicion that life was passing her by. While it’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae of daily life, and it’s so much easier to react negatively to a situation, that kind of perspective is very unfulfilling. Through Rubin’s own happiness project, it is easy for the reader to see how — though it’s not simple — staying positive and acting the way you want to feel (one of her mantras) is so much more satisfying and provides for a richer life experience.

Even the author acknowledges that she was extremely caught up in her obsession with the idea of “happiness,” and she expressed concerns that it may seem somewhat selfish. Then again, happy people tend to make the people around them happier and, according to her research, generally are more charitable and generous, so isn’t it worth a shot to at least try out some of her commandments?

Some of the resolutions Rubin put to use for herself are simple, such as not snapping at her husband over minor things. She isn’t recommending that the reader should change his or her life completely but rather make small changes that accommodate that person’s sincere interests and passions. The overall impression of her project is something she repeats in the content: Happiness is about feeling good, feeling bad and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

While it really is a “self-help” book, “The Happiness Project” is also a fun piece of nonfiction. Rubin’s experiences and dilemmas are interesting and familiar. It’s hard to not get caught up in her constant research on the topic of happiness, and it’s difficult to not feel defeated right along with her when she fails to keep a resolution. Her persistence and hopefulness are contagious. At the very least, Rubin presents some very philosophical concepts about being grateful for the everyday and the seemingly mundane.

Rating: W W W W


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Stephanie DeBalko - Weekender Staff Writer  
weekender@theweekender.com