by Rachel PughNew Year’s resolutions. We make them. We break them. We get in over our heads and try to take on the world with one bold statement on Jan. 1 and then disappoint ourselves when we fail miserably, considering ourselves failures in life because we couldn’t even meet our one big goal for the year. But let’s think about those goals that we set and examine how lofty they are in all actuality.
“I want to be skinny”
I have made this resolution, oh, I don’t know, for nearly 20 years. I want to lose weight, I want to be thin. Changing eating habits to prevent high cholesterol or love handles is well and good, and we should always be aiming for higher standards when it comes to our wellness. But overwhelming statements can often result in biting off more than we can chew, no pun intended, which means with one slip, one false step, we feel we’ve fallen off the wagon. I personally am my own worse enemy when it comes to scales and weight obsession. I’ve always been this way. And yet, year after year, I scream from the hilltops my “new year, new me” plan and subconsciously design my resolution to fail. And so, it gets the best of me.
“I want to be Wonder Woman”
Some of us have jobs. Some of us have careers, lifestyles within our professions, that ultimately describe us and represent who we are in and outside the office. And for those of us who are overachievers, we shoot high: “This year, I will get a promotion,” “This year, I will get a title change,” “This year, I will take on more responsibility.” And if those are important goals in our lives, sure, we should work towards them. But to make statements? To magically snap our fingers and say this is what will happen this coming year? How arrogant. There is no denying that what I do directly reflects who I am. I live it. I breathe it. I love it. I would be fooling myself if I did not say, to a certain degree, my work defines who I am. I allow it to. But once you open that gate, once your career can be used as an adjective for yourself, you better handle it with care. For although your accomplishments become huge to you personally, so do your failures, no matter how minor they may be. I want to do it all and do it all perfectly. I want to be a superhero and scream from the hilltops my “new year, new agenda to take on the world” plan and subconsciously, design my resolution to fail. And so, it gets the best of me.
“I want to be swept off my feet”
Ah, love. Where do I even begin? Some of us find love. Some of us are in love with love. And some of us destroy any type of love that even comes close to us. And still, we find ourselves not willing to look inside and actually ask ourselves what will make us happy but rather depend on our New Year’s resolution, “This year, I will fall in love.” As if magically while turning over a rock (this is where I look for it, don’t you?) we find love sitting there, grab it and run with it holding hands and rejoicing in our new discovery. And then we make mistakes and smother it, later wallowing in our own creatively crafted destruction. I, not to brag, am a professional at this.
I am a fixer. I want to fix every problem and am determined to fix what might not even be good for me in the end anyway. As a result of this flaw, I’ve had boyfriends steal from me, completely disappear, and in my most painful break up, found out it was officially over by seeing he posted he was single on Facebook. Literally one day prior, in my pathetic and utter sob fest from that week’s transactions, I called on my spirituality and prayed, “Please God, I’m not telling you to make it work. Just please do what is best for me.” That’s all I have to say about that.
Still, I am a hopeless romantic and scream from the hilltops, “new year, new love.” Even though I know, subconsciously, I have designed my resolution to fail. And so it gets the best of me.
2011 means a brand new year. A year we can change. A year where we refuse to self destruct and set goals we cannot possibly meet because we overwhelm ourselves simply by proclaiming them. It’s too much pressure. It’s too many rules. It’s too damn exhausting. Really, what we should be aiming for throughout the year, instead of ridiculous proclamations, is balance. Balance your exercise and eating habits. Balance your career without carrying the world on your shoulders. And balance love with a heart void of negativity but rather wide open to fill it with new and positive relationships. But for me, after 2010, I think I’ll just start with this: I’m going to get to bed a little earlier each night.
My friend, Matt Rogers, and I coined 2011, The Year of the Berries, meaning a year of top-notch bliss simply by means of feeling nothing more than, get this: happy. Happy for friends. Happy for family. Happy for life. Here’s to bushels of bountiful fruit. Happy New Year.
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