Justin’s 22nd birthday celebration at The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles didn’t go quite as planned.
There are two days out of every year that never seem to live up to expectation: New Year’s Eve and birthdays. For some reason, no matter how much effort is steered at making those nights an experience of epic proportions, they have a tendency to fall short and become an epic fail. Exhibit A: My 22nd birthday …
After only a month of living together, my second roommate in Los Angeles decided to move in with his male lover so he didn’t have to pay rent.
My friends from down the hall were helping me pack, and we decided to take a break and look through my roommate’s things. We stumbled upon a scrapbook of dinner theater productions he starred in back when he was a self-proclaimed child star in Colorado. Apparently, he beat out his town’s only Arab for the lead in “Aladdin.” After I saw the program from his performance in “Bunnicula,” a musical comedy about a vampire bunny, I decided I saw enough.
“What do you think your next roommate is going to be like?” asked Suzy.
The truth was I had no idea who my third roommate was going to be. I was actually having a birthday party that night with a guest list of several hopefuls I met on Roommate.com, figuring the candidate that could handle my actions best would be deemed my newest roomie. I found out that wasn’t the best selective process.
Once the candidates arrived for the party, we decided to walk around the corner to The Laugh Factory on Sunset Boulevard to see a comedy show.
When the comic performing discovered it was my birthday, she asked to sing “Happy Birthday” to me. I told her only if she allowed me to come up on stage with her.
As she started singing, I started grinding on her. However, I was so intoxicated that my dirty dancing quickly became just plain dirty, and I started dry-humping her really hard!
Two security guards grabbed me from the stage and gave me one more chance after I kept screaming that it was my birthday. Ten minutes later they actually kicked me out because I wouldn’t stop applauding when nobody else was.
After watching me make an ass of myself in public, the only candidate that still wanted to live with me was a group of kids that turned out to be even more of a disaster than me …. but that’s another story!
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