Ever hear the phrase “the customer is always right?” I hate it. So does anyone else who has ever waited tables. Don’t get me wrong, it’s the best job a college student can have — teaches you how to balance priorities, works around your school schedule, is the ultimate source of beer money — but be honest, the customer is not always right. Here are 10 examples dedicated to anyone who has ever served before:
1. When a server comes to greet you, let them introduce themselves. When your server says “Hi, my name is …” and you interrupt them by shouting, “Coke, no ice!” it’s not only rude as f--k, but it makes them hate you instantly.
2. You look pathetic when you ask your server how much a margarita is. Odds are, if you have to ask, you probably can’t afford it. It’s not like it’s going to cost $100. You might as well have “I’m a cheap bastard who won’t tip” written on your forehead in black tar!
3. When another server delivers your food, don’t be an asshole and ask them to get you something. They have tables of their own to worry about.
4. Don’t get pissed off at your server if your food doesn’t come out right. Remember this: They don’t cook your f--king food!
5. When you have dirty dishes on your table, wait for your server to pick them up. Don’t pile them on a nearby clean table. What do you need the space for so badly? Are you planning on lying down on the table?
6. Be polite to your server. When you’re rude to them, they go out for drinks after and they share stories about people like you.
7. Just because a place has free bread, doesn’t mean you have to eat it like it’s a food-eating contest. The only recognition you’ll get is them talking shit about you in the back.
8. They see you pull out the tip calculator, and it makes you look poor, pathetic and uneducated. If you can’t figure out 15 to 20 percent in your head, you’re as much of a joke as “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
9. If you can’t afford to tip, eat at McDonald’s. Servers never forget the face of someone who doesn’t tip.
10. When you pay, leave! Don’t sit around for a half hour taking up their table. It’s rude.
Though the customer may always win, I can say from experience, the server is always right …
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