Only a true friend would be willing to get close enough to take a photo like this.
Dear Mom & Dad,
They say college is where you’ll meet the friends you’ll have for the rest of your life. I guess there’s something to be said about the bonds you develop when you’re too young and stupid to give a shit about tomorrow.
A perfect example brings me back to 2005. The world was more simple back then. The Kardashians had yet to pollute television, my stomach was never pumped, and Vince Vaughn had every guy in America trying to play a little game of “just the tip” with their girl.
“Are you ready to get crazy tonight?” asked one of my fraternity brothers.
“I fully intend on throwing up tonight,” I answered. I was such an inexperienced drinker at that point in my life that I couldn’t convince myself I ever got drunk unless projectile vomit was found somewhere the next morning.
After pre-gaming with a “power hour” that consisted of sipping Natty Lite every minute to the beat of a new Disney song from our childhood, we made our way to the nearby Theta Xi fraternity house to party like the redneck rockstars we were.
I don’t remember much about the party, except I told some girl that since her teeth glowed in the dark I couldn’t sit next to her in Anthropology anymore.
Next thing I knew, a group of people circled me as I was on the floor getting poked with a broom.
“Is he dead?” someone asked.
I was too paralyzed with inebriation to respond.
“We need to pull the trigger,” someone insisted.
I wasn’t too drunk to misunderstand that! I thought they were going to shoot me for getting too drunk at their party.
Before I could scream, something entered my mouth. I thought it was a gun. When I bit down, I heard someone scream with pain.
“You bastard!” they yelled. “You bit my fingers. I was just trying to make you threw up so you didn’t die!” Apparently “pull the trigger” meant to force someone to throw up to avoid alcohol poisoning.
After I was dragged back to my fraternity house, I passed out on the toilet. My roommate in the house snapped a picture of me to make sure I never forgot about it. When we recently laughed about it at his wedding, I realized why they say the friends you make in college are the friends you’ll have for the rest of your life.
Love,
Justin
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