“The band is demanding five microphones to be set up just for their drum set!” I announced to the performers in the Christmas show I was directing to raise money for charity.
“Are they crazy? The show is in a small church hall. People would go deaf!” voiced one of the performers.
“On top of that, they also just informed me they don’t own any guitar amps.”
“What kind of band doesn’t own any guitar amps?” everybody asked.
It was dress rehearsal, and I didn’t even have time to sweat over the fact that the show’s headlining act dropped out last minute because I was left struggling with other pretentious personalities.
One girl texted me 45 minutes into dress rehearsal that she lost her voice. Be that as it may, she should have let me know before the rehearsal! When I replied back that I was disgusted with the way she handled dropping out, she managed to get her voice back so she could come tell me off 10 minutes later.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, next I had to deal with a girl who wasn’t prepared for any of the songs she was assigned to sing, instead showing up with a list of Miley Cyrus songs she wanted to do instead. That’s right, Miley Cyrus! Of course, I directed her right to the door and kicked her out of the show!
After she left, she sent me nasty text messages about how I made a “big mistake.” I then proceeded to tell her she wasn’t mentally up to speed with her peers, since she was 20 and liked singing songs 12-year-old girls like to sing. After reaching a new low of getting into a text-message war with a one-person Miley Cyrus tribute band, I went to see “The Muppets,” hoping Kermit and the gang could provide me a great escape from the stresses of putting together a show.
Just my luck, the f--king movie was about the stresses of putting together a show. After eating away my stress with a large popcorn drenched in butter, nachos and part of the straw from my Coke, I realized if the Muppets could overcome the last-minute obstacles of putting together a show, so can I. So, I worked with what I had to put together a phenomenal show, only the way a Muppet can. I think that makes me one Muppet of a man!
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