SORRY MOM & DAD: Chelsea was there

Justin chats via satellite with Laura Prepon and Chelsea Handler for his "PA Live" segment.

“Are you there, Chelsea?”

I asked the edgy comedian if she could hear me as I was about to interview her and Laura Prepon via satellite.

A few years earlier, I dreamt of having the opportunity to speak with the late-night hostess while in Japan competing on the ridiculous ABC reality series “I Survived A Japanese Game Show.” One night, someone from the cast asked everyone what they hoped to get out of doing the show.

“I want to be on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ next,” shared the show’s token black guy.

“Please. This show is so stupid,” I mercilessly pointed out. “There’s no way we’re going to get famous from it. I just want the money to pay my college expenses.”

“Well if you could get something out of it, what would you want?” asked the token soccer mom with sass.

“I’d want to be on ‘Chelsea Lately,’” I answered for the sake of the argument.

The more I went stir crazy from making my way through obstacle courses every day in a foreign country for two months, the more I started thinking I might have a chance, even if it were out of pity for knowing I was on such a deplorable show.

Since I had a copy of her bestseller, “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” by my side in Japan, I started carrying the book around during important moments in the show that I figured would be hard to edit out, such as discussions on who to put into elimination, hoping it would get the attention of Chelsea’s handlers.

Instead of my initiative getting me on “Chelsea Lately,” it got me put on timeout from the producers, which only gave me less airtime.

Now the book that served as my partner in crime in Japan is a new NBC sitcom called “Are You There, Chelsea?” starring Handler and Prepon; it airs Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m. Earlier this week, I was given the chance to interview them both for my segment on “PA Live.”

“Are you there, Chelsea?” I asked via satellite.

Oh, she was there, eventually asking me on daytime TV if I have a lot of sex! How did I respond? Tune in to my interview airing in two parts Wednesday and Friday at 4 p.m. on WBRE!