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Nikki M. Mascali
Throughout the course of a day, there are about a million things that piss me off.
Today, for example, it was the slow-driving granny in front of me on the way to work. And before that, as I ate breakfast, it was the rodent-like dog yipping nonstop in the yard behind my house. It’s always outside, which I think it hates because it never shuts up when it’s outside. I’m a huge dog lover — of big, bounding dogs like Labs — but that still doesn’t mean I don’t want to punt this little vermin clear across the street, as well as its owner who turns a deaf ear all the time. I especially love when the owner turns a deaf ear at 7 a.m., which is just plain rude to all of us in the neighborhood.
But the biggest thing that irked me today was an article I read in today’s Times Leader. The headline said “Ronald will remain; McDonald’s is not retiring its famous mascot.”
Basically, a corporate watchdog group, Corporate Accountability International, has called for the retirement of Ronald McDonald. The calling is thanks to the recent White House report that recommends food companies stop marketing junk food to children. CAI is also responsible for the retirement of Joe Camel, Camel cigarettes' former mascot.
Ronald has been around since 1963 and is a cultural icon. I personally don’t care for the face-painted fellow, but that’s just because I have an aversion to clowns. If I find myself eating a sixer of chicken nuggets, it is certainly not because Ronald made me do it. In fact, I try to avoid all pictures of him thanks to my coulrophobia.
CAI’s Senior Organizer Deborah Lapidus said during a meeting this week that Ronald is unethical because he “builds brand loyalty and eating habits that can last a lifetime” to children. She went on to say that McDonald’s made Ronald an ambassador of its corporation and sent him to schools, libraries and other locations where parents are usually not around.
So does that mean that parents are not the ones taking their children to McDonald’s in the first place? Did the legal-driving age drop, and the kids, high on happiness from seeing Ronald McDonald, are now driving themselves to the restaurants to stuff themselves with Happy Meals galore?
Cut me a break. Kids are obese in this day and age not because of clever marketing ploys, but because someone who is responsible for them buys them the very food that makes them obese.
When do Americans take responsibility for themselves?
When I was a smoker, I didn’t smoke Marlboros because the hot Marlboro man told me to or enticed me that I, too, could go out on the range and drive cattle and look hot in chaps. I smoked because I wanted to. I bought the cigarettes. I lit them, just as I drive myself through the drive-through of a fast-food restaurant on occasion.
Who’s responsible for me not being super skinny? Me, because I love food. Who’s responsible for overweight kids? Their parents or guardians. Maybe it’s time to turn the spotlight on them, dontcha think?
Every day, I get dozens of e-mail press releases about music. Being such a music lover, this is by no means a hardship. Many of them, though, are pretty useless since a lot of them are about bands on tours that won’t hit NEPA.
One e-mail caught my eye last week. It was entitled “a-ha’s Farewell Tour: First US Shows in Over 20 Years.”
My first thought: Why would a band that hasn't been heard from in decades and only had one hit do a farewell tour? It’s a valid question, yes? My second thought was more of a memory because I really, really loved that one hit, “Take On Me.”
It was a great song, and remember the video? It was so innovative for its time that it really changed the way music videos were made.
According to the press release, the Norwegian band — Morten Harket, Magne Furuholmen and Paul Waaktaar-Savoy — sold more than 35 million albums in the course of its 25-year career. “Take On Me” went No. 1 in 27 countries, was played 3 million times on American Radio — “the equivalent of 375 times a day for 22 years” — and earned a Guinness World Record for the largest audience ever at a paid concert: 196,000 at Maracana Stadium in Rio De Janeiro in 1991.
And my bad, a-ha’s latest CD, “Foot of the Mountain,” put the band back in the U.K. Top 5 last year, so I guess it had been heard from after all.
More than all those accolades I just informed you of, a-ha holds another distinct honor that wasn’t in the press release. It’s a glaring omission and one that, quite frankly, upsets me greatly.
In 1985, at the height of a-ha’s popularity, my papa took me to the Gallery of Sound in the Dallas Shopping Center to buy the band’s debut album “Hunting High and Low.” I was 8 years old, and “Take On Me” was my favorite song. But even more monumental than me buying the album is this little tidbit: It was my very first music purchase.
I’ll say it again. a-ha’s “Hunting High and Low” was the very first bit of music this music lover bought. It was a white cassette tape, and I made my parents put it in the tape player in our big, brown “living-room-on-wheels” Ford van on the way from the record store to our dinner at Yester-Days. Talk about a trip down memory lane.
The U.S. leg of a-ha’s worldwide tour begins today, Thursday, May 6, at the Nokia Theater in New York City and ends Sunday, May 16 at Club Nokia Live in Los Angeles. The trio will perform together for the last time in Oslo, Norway, Dec. 4. Find more info at www.a-ha.com.
Do yourself a favor and watch the “Take On Me” video I’ve so kindly given a link for here. Do you still know all the words like I do?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EXxMlIExpo
Let me start out by saying that I religiously read In Touch magazine — it’s a guilty pleasure, and I will not apologize for it, so kindly move on to the rest of the blog, please and thank you.
I’ve never had a problem making a gift wish list for the holidays. Hell, I revel in it. On this year’s wish list, I would like certain “celebrities” to cease and desist.
(Note: You will not find Tyra Banks or Heidi and Spencer Pratt on this list because I think the entire world would like them to fade into oblivion.)
Jon, Kate and their entire 8
Need I say more?
Lindsay Lohan
While I certainly do not wish ill on anyone ever, Lindsay needs to either overdose or move to a trailer park. You decide, LiLo. And stop wearing leggings.
Katy Perry
Her voice is horrid, but she gets mad props for her ’50s-era style.
Dave Mustaine
Dear Dave, You left Metallica in 1983 and went on to have reasonable success with Megadeth. While I pretty much dislike Metallica (mostly thanks to a hatred of drummer Lars Ulrich), you seriously need to stop talking/bitching/whining about how you were fired from Metallica — in 1983. It’s time to move on. Really, it is. Have a lovely day! Sincerely, your friend in metal, Nikki.
Anvil, and the stupid story of
I think there’s a reason no one cared about this band from 1973-2008: It stinks. It stinks the way garbage stinks on a hot day. Just look at this photo. Further discussion is not needed.
Bret Michaels
Oh, Bret. I’m so disappointed. There you were looking for “love” on a reality show like a common skank while I’ve been here the whole time madly in love with you since I was 10. Now, 22 years later, I’m over you. I will always love Poison and your blue eyes, but I wouldn’t touch you with a 39-and-a-half foot pole. Here’s to what might have been, guess every rose does have a thorn.
Suri, Tom and maybe Katie depending on my mood
I’ve always despised Tom Cruise, but now I’ve added Suri to the list. Katie Holmes I’m still on the fence about because I feel bad for her, with her sad, sunken eyes whenever she’s in her crazy-as-a-loon husband’s presence. But she made her million dollar bed, so I guess she should lie in it. Oh Joey, what have you become?
AnnaLynn McCord
Every once in a while, someone comes along whose face just makes me itch. Past recipients of this title include Ashlee Simpson, Beverley Mitchell and the entire cast of “The View.” AnnaLynn takes the cake, though. She looks like pure evil, like she’s not even human. She should be on “V” or something, instead of “90210.” Just sayin’.
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. It always makes my fangs tingle something fierce, so in honor of Saturday, I present you with this creepy classic.
Hope your All Hallow’s Eve is a graveyard smash!
This is just about one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen, and I have no one but Weekender Editor Mike Lello to thank, as usual, when it comes to nonsensical YouTube content.
Without further ado, heeeere’s Jackson Browne and Clarence Clemons from the E Street Band — with a dash of Daryl Hannah thrown in for an extra dose of lameness.
About the Author
Nikki M. Mascali interned at the Weekender in 2005 and is proud to have been the paper’s oldest intern. She became the staff writer/designer in 2006 while still obtaining her journalism degree from Luzerne County Community College, which she received in 2007.
Nikki has written about a variety of topics, from a local dominatrix to Larry the Cable to Soulja Boy, Slash and Shinedown — and everything in between. She represents the “she” view for the “He Said/She Said” with Eric Petersen of Froggy 101.3 in the paper and on air at 5 p.m. every other Wednesday. She also attends the monthly KRZ Spotlight Lounge for photographs and exclusive interviews with artists like Plain White T’s, Matt Nathanson and Hinder. See her every Monday on the Weekender homepage in the Weekly Dose video with Editor Michael Lello.
Nikki has a never-ending love for Twitter (follow her at www.twitter.com/nikkimm33), Steve McQueen and Gerard Butler movies, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and eating, hence the reason she’s our food writer. She thanks you for reading her blog because she’s that kind of girl.