I recently received an e-mail from Misericordia about graduation. I graduated in December 2009 (early) but am still walking with my class this May. So to get in the spirit of graduation I read the e-mail. The headline was “Tips for making your graduation photo better.”

They mean well, they really do, but it’s too good not to comment on.

Tip #1 Don’t run across stage. Take your time. Take my time? I’ve been there for almost four years. I don’t want to extend my stay! I want out! Although that would be great if someone grabbed their diploma and booked it. Haha. Can you imagine? Everyone has a nice picture receiving their diploma accept for a picture of a blur.

Tip #2 Stand tall. Don’t lead with your head and upper body. No, I am going to hunch my back and stick out my ass. For those of you who know me, you know I am thinking “some of us have to lead with our upper half.” I’m terrible I know. In all seriousness, I shouldn’t joke about sticking my derriere out because when I was younger I did! It was so noticeable that my wonderful mother, Ann Marie, ended up sending me to etiquette classes where I was tied to the back of chair in hopes I would learn perfect posture and how to be a proper young lady. Boy, did that backfire. :)

Tip #3 Keep eye contact with the president. Don’t look at the floor or the camera. And as long as he is looking at you this is actually a good piece of advice. Though some divas might not be able to help themselves and look right at the camera. But, of course, the camera loves them and it’s not their fault. I guess the flip side of that would be the people who look like they have seen a ghost. In that case we are the lucky ones. Forget looking at the pres, we’ll just be thrilled you are walking and not crawling across stage. However, I think the best is the people who stand in line and say, “Oh my gosh, everyone is looking at me.” No really? Did you think they were watching planes go by? I can already picture it

Tip #4 Pause to shake the president’s hand. Again, don’t rush it. You know what? I’m just going to stand there and shake it up with Mac Daddy, as we affectionately call him, for a whole two minutes. Then what? KIDDING. On the other hand, you’ll still have the frazzled females (as I call them) who are all worried and need a stop watch after reading this. You know who I’m taking about. The "nervous Nancys" who ask, “How long should I stand there?” “Should I count to five?” “Is three minutes too long?” Oh, I can’t wait.

Tip #5 Place your tassel on the backstage side as you approach the stage. This way we will have a clear shot of your face. … And as we all know there will be that one wonderfully intelligent person who stands there wondering which side is the backstage side even though everyone has it placed to the right. Naturally, they finally come up with the brilliant solution and place it to the left. Again, I am all too excited to have a good laugh. It would be pretty hysterical if I was the idiot who did that though. Then again, I guess it isn’t as tragic as the girls who will throw a fit and pout because "that’s not their good side." Go cry about it. You have fair warning -- 31 days to be exact.

Graduation, here I come. Giddy up!
 

About the Author

Rae is the marketing associate for The Times Leader.

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