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The other day my co-workers and I were talking about fashion. I was thinking about a conversation about a little black dress I wore to a party and how you should wear red, gold or even hot-pink shoes -- not black. For as morbid as I am, even I know that black needs a splash of color every now and then. It really made me think.

When someone looks great, you tell them. When someone looks like hell, you talk behind their back and think "What were they thinking?" If you are me, you are honest and say "You look like hell," grab their hand and take them shopping. Yes, please do not put that past me.

I realized that we don’t focus enough on the basic and essential rules of fashion.

I came across an article in a magazine about fashion don’ts and decided to “chimp-ify” them for your pleasure. Here goes nothing.

(Disclaimer: Please seek help immediately before walking outside in public if any of these apply to you.)

Six Sins of Style

1. Overflowing With Fabric

For all of you who think muumuus are cool, you are wrong. Oversized clothing is not it. Clothing shouldn’t be so tight that it is your answer to a girdle. However, it should not be loose enough so you need a map to find your way out. Swim in water, not your clothes. If you are not sure what size you are, ask a sales representative at the store for help.

2. I Was Robbed

No … you weren’t robbed. But if you wear every piece of jewelry you own, you might feel as though you were. Keep the jewelry to a minimum. It should accent your attire, not look as though you are a walking Christmas tree.

3. So Clean They Shine

Shoes add character to any outfit. Take the little black dress for example. Shoes are a great way to “spunk-ify” any plain-Jane top or bottom. Shoes are to be polished and clean. Why anyone would wear a pair of muddy, scuffed, beaten shoes is beyond me. Clean shoes, clean look.

If you want to kick your outfit up a notch, be daring and grab any pair of stilettos. They will “sex-ify” any outfit. Be careful, though: Don’t wear them if you can’t walk in them.

4. Cut Short On Both Ends

If the cut of your top is short, wear a longer or high-waist bottom. If you are wearing a short bottom, such as a mini-skirt, wear a longer top. If you plan to wear a short top and short skirt, please send me a photo so I can laugh. Too short is trashy, ladies and gentlemen, not trendy.

5. Preventing Seizures

Polka dots, stripes, animal, solids, plaids. They are all different patterns used in our everyday outfits. Here is a general rule of thumb: One pattern per outfit. If you mix together zebra print and a plaid, you are going to send someone to the hospital. K.I.S.S.: Keep it simple, stupid.

6. Behind Enemy Lines

Please, if you are wearing tight or clingy fabric, wear a thong. Panty lines should not be seen, no matter what you are wearing. It is tacky and distasteful. No one wants to see your behind lines.

So there are my six sins of style. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this entry.

To wrap up, fashion should be used to tell the world who you are and show off your beautiful, unique figure … just not at the expense of anyone’s health, sanity or lunch.

 

About the Author

Previously working as the online intern, Rachel officially joined The Weekender team in June, 2008. Currently a student at Misericordia University, Rachel has concentrated her studies in communications, marketing, advertising and public relations. Rachel also serves as the Web Editor for Misericordia’s student newspaper.

In her spare time she enjoys diving, singing, hiking, shopping and having a good time. Rachel has an odd sense of humor and always wears a smile on her face, ready to take on any task.

She is thankful for her friends and family and would be nothing without them.

Rachel, also called the Web chimp, is addicted to stilettos and only owns five pairs of flat shoes…maybe.

Rachel is enthusiastic and is always up for a challenge.

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