Getting in a relationship is a beautiful thing. The act of two becoming one is something musicians, writers, and movie makers have focused their energies on for years. What they don’t tell you is how to you hold on to your one-ness as two become one.
Many girls I know get into relationships and mold themselves into this whole new person. I am guilty of this myself. It seems they become so wrapped up in the “we” they forget about the importance of the “me.” What if it doesn’t work out? It is so important to hold onto some of your single girl habits while being in a couple. That’s who you are at the core. You can’t always depend on that other person being there, but you can depend on yourself.
Don’t blow off your friends for a guy. Seriously, cardinal rule No. 1. Once the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over, you are going need to spend time with other people before you start to drive each other nuts. Your girls have been there for so much of your life and can remind you who you are as an individual. They will understand you blowing them off, but how many invites will you turn down before they stop coming all together? Go out. Dance, laugh, take 100 selfies, and make sure you do it more than once every couple of months. There was never anything wrong with girls’ night out.
Flirt. You are in a relationship, but you aren’t dead. There is nothing wrong with innocent flirting. You are an adult and know the difference between being playful and serious. You know limits and how far you can joke without offending your significant other. The attention makes you feel alive and sexy, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Find a hobby and make time to actually do it. If you have something you genuinely enjoy doing, make sure to make time to do it. Life gets so busy with meetings and practices and running errands that it’s hard to remember the girl who found her center on the yoga mat or found joy in reading a book with a glass of wine. Taking “me” time when you are in a relationship will help to prevent you from losing yourself.
Feel emotions. You don’t need to be that perfect Stepford wife. Your significant other got with you because they liked the person you were. If you were quirky or silly, then laugh. If you’re sad, cry; it’s OK to have a bad day. If you get angry, don’t be afraid to show it. Being true to yourself will help show the world the real you, good days and bad.
Always remember that before you can make others happy, you need to be happy with who you are. There is never a guarantee that you will forever be a “we,” so make sure to focus on “me.”