SORRY MOM & DAD: That’s Reverend Justin to you!

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First Posted: 4/1/2013

When I was a little kid spending time with my Nana in the Catskills, I would always beg her to tell me the story of how my parents met and got married.

“Again, Nana! Tell me the story!” I would beg. “Tell me how my Mommy and Daddy got married.”

“Well, it was the summer when your mother was 16,” she would start in a gentle, soft tone. “We were supposed to go to Costa Rica until Papa’s pavement company landed a big deal paving a highway for the summer in Pennsylvania. A boy working construction for Papa mentioned that his mother was renting out their lake cottage for the summer, so we decided to rent it and stay there. Your mother was not interested in staying at the lake because she wanted to be in Costa Rica for the summer.”

My Nana would then go on to tell stories of how my father, a young 17-year-old boy at the time, would come to the lake house to cut the grass or fix things around the cottage, looking for reasons to come around just to get a glimpse of my mother.

“They eventually fell in love,” she’d continue. “When your mother went back to New York, they stayed in touch. Your father would drive to visit her every weekend. Young and head over heels in love, they married as soon as your mother turned 18. They’ve been together ever since.”

It was a magical story to hear when I was a little kid, but the older I got, the more it sounded like a disgustingly sappy Nicholas Sparks book that makes you want to vomit!

I think it’s outrageous to think that somewhere there is a little boy who can’t ask his grandparents to tell him the story of how his parents met and got married because it’s not legal for everyone’s parents to even get married!

It’s 2013! If Casey Anthony could get away with murdering her daughter, then two men or two women should be able to get away with saying, “I DO!”

The way I look at it, if you don’t believe in gay marriage, then don’t marry a gay person.

To show my support for same-sex marriage, I decided to marry a gay person. Literally. I recently became an online ordained minister with the Universal Life Church Monastery at – for free! It was so quick and easy that I did it while I was on the toilet taking my pre-shower dump! That’s right! I’m here, I’m looking to marry a queer – get used to it!

Get with it, America! Love is love; let it be! Show your support for same-sex marriage by becoming ordained online so that you can marry a gay couple and maybe one day you can be a part of a story a grandparent tells a little boy about how his parents met and got married.